[ . . . man, thank god this is in text, huh? Because it makes it so much easier to just type all this out. ]
I don't trust anyone in this world. Not just here, but back home. . . at least, that was the case before. But everyone here has been so kind to me, in spite of my weaknesses, in spite of me being like this. I really don't get it.
But I also just. . . I don't see positive things in people? I only see the negative traits in people, in situations, things like that.
I'm just like that.
And that's why I don't think I'm a kind person, even if everyone has been insisting otherwise. You, the Apprentice, Arisato, Atsushi. . . and then there's Cinque, too, during the Truth or Dare, asking everyone if I'd be a good person to date and a bunch of the guys saying yes. I just. I don't get it. I don't understand why people can be so kind. Even more so in a place like this, with a situation so bleak. Maybe there's a light with what was revealed during the trial, but we might still fail? If we potentially don't execute the Barghest in the right way? If that thing somehow "survives" and possesses someone else?
Like what it's someone I care about? What if I have to see that person die, or execute them myself?
I'm honestly extremely terrified of that possibility.
Sorry, I'm rambling. But basically. These thoughts of mine. My dark nature. That's why I don't see myself as a good person.
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I don't trust anyone in this world. Not just here, but back home. . . at least, that was the case before. But everyone here has been so kind to me, in spite of my weaknesses, in spite of me being like this. I really don't get it.
But I also just. . . I don't see positive things in people? I only see the negative traits in people, in situations, things like that.
I'm just like that.
And that's why I don't think I'm a kind person, even if everyone has been insisting otherwise. You, the Apprentice, Arisato, Atsushi. . . and then there's Cinque, too, during the Truth or Dare, asking everyone if I'd be a good person to date and a bunch of the guys saying yes. I just. I don't get it. I don't understand why people can be so kind. Even more so in a place like this, with a situation so bleak. Maybe there's a light with what was revealed during the trial, but we might still fail? If we potentially don't execute the Barghest in the right way? If that thing somehow "survives" and possesses someone else?
Like what it's someone I care about? What if I have to see that person die, or execute them myself?
I'm honestly extremely terrified of that possibility.
Sorry, I'm rambling. But basically. These thoughts of mine. My dark nature. That's why I don't see myself as a good person.