But it's... really, really hard to separate the two. I have so many other memories that match up so well with who I know Crow to be in this life, so many little patterns we find ourselves falling into that are just the same.
And I wish I could say, "well, obviously, that's who Crow is. You know him." But then I have these memories of him sounding just hollow, of him knocking me flat and mocking me without remorse... and the thing is, even in this life? I know I don't know everything there is to know about Crow.
I don't know everything there is to know about you, and I've known you practically my whole life. I've only known Crow a couple of months. And even in these few months, I've found out he's been hiding things from us. There's more that he's hiding, I'm sure of it.
[It's now that he looks up at her, uncertain and frightened. He'd never show this part of himself to anyone else, not so openly.]
...but I can ignore all of that, you know? I can deal with that as it comes.
But I already lost him once before. And with the way things are now, with the layers and Vanderwheele and everything else... there's a very real possibility I'll be in a situation again where there's nothing I can do to save him.
If... if I lose him again...
["I don't know what I'm going to do," he wants to say, but... no. That's a lie.
He knows. He just hates the answer, and he knows she would, too.]
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[And he still can't manage to look at her.]
But it's... really, really hard to separate the two. I have so many other memories that match up so well with who I know Crow to be in this life, so many little patterns we find ourselves falling into that are just the same.
And I wish I could say, "well, obviously, that's who Crow is. You know him." But then I have these memories of him sounding just hollow, of him knocking me flat and mocking me without remorse... and the thing is, even in this life? I know I don't know everything there is to know about Crow.
I don't know everything there is to know about you, and I've known you practically my whole life. I've only known Crow a couple of months. And even in these few months, I've found out he's been hiding things from us. There's more that he's hiding, I'm sure of it.
[It's now that he looks up at her, uncertain and frightened. He'd never show this part of himself to anyone else, not so openly.]
...but I can ignore all of that, you know? I can deal with that as it comes.
But I already lost him once before. And with the way things are now, with the layers and Vanderwheele and everything else... there's a very real possibility I'll be in a situation again where there's nothing I can do to save him.
If... if I lose him again...
["I don't know what I'm going to do," he wants to say, but... no. That's a lie.
He knows. He just hates the answer, and he knows she would, too.]