[ It feels like it's been so long since she's just been able to just let go. The last few weeks, she's just been trying to ignore all the suffering that's around her and burying herself in her apartment building, in the multitude of mobile games so she could distract herself.
And even though she can hear the gentleness in his voice...
Maybe it's because it's gentle that it just feels like he's proverbially twisting the knife in her chest. It hurts even more because she doesn't deserve him speaking to her like this. It hurts.
It hurts because she knows it's her fault.
If only she were stronger, then maybe it would not have been like this. She wouldn't have retreated like the coward she feels like she is. Although the more he talks, the more her mind reels towards other thoughts.
And it's enough to frighten her as she hugs herself, fingers digging into the sleeves of her arms.
Her hands are shaking and she can feel her whole body trembling, like she's shaken up about something that isn't entirely this conversation, and a part of her wants to stop thinking about it. But she can't get it out of her head, not when she's had restless nights just sitting with her own thoughts. Her past life's memories.
She clenches onto herself tighter as if it'd help stop herself from feeling like this.
It's a disgusting feeling and she wants it all to end. ]
I. . .
[ Hesitation.
For a moment, one could guess that maybe she'd argue the point, maybe she'd say no, you can't force her, but then what winds up coming out after all that is-- ]
I can do that.
[ It's hard to tell if her words are genuine or not though, given how shaken up they sound. ]
no subject
And even though she can hear the gentleness in his voice...
Maybe it's because it's gentle that it just feels like he's proverbially twisting the knife in her chest. It hurts even more because she doesn't deserve him speaking to her like this. It hurts.
It hurts because she knows it's her fault.
If only she were stronger, then maybe it would not have been like this. She wouldn't have retreated like the coward she feels like she is. Although the more he talks, the more her mind reels towards other thoughts.
And it's enough to frighten her as she hugs herself, fingers digging into the sleeves of her arms.
Her hands are shaking and she can feel her whole body trembling, like she's shaken up about something that isn't entirely this conversation, and a part of her wants to stop thinking about it. But she can't get it out of her head, not when she's had restless nights just sitting with her own thoughts. Her past life's memories.
She clenches onto herself tighter as if it'd help stop herself from feeling like this.
It's a disgusting feeling and she wants it all to end. ]
I. . .
[ Hesitation.
For a moment, one could guess that maybe she'd argue the point, maybe she'd say no, you can't force her, but then what winds up coming out after all that is-- ]
I can do that.
[ It's hard to tell if her words are genuine or not though, given how shaken up they sound. ]