I don't usually write poems. But both my boyfriends are writing nerds, so I had to show off. Both of the poems I wrote were mediocre... although I did improve on the second one after some advice from a proper author.
Maybe, maybe not. Still, putting in the effort to improve on one for their sake is heartwarming. It makes me think I should have had Nagato-san try that out.
I'm mostly kidding, anyway. That stuff's personal and private to you, and I don't want to pry any more than I have. If you write anything new though, maybe I'll ask to read it.
Well... if you ever come up with any stories for the spirits, I can read those to them at the library. I'm hoping now that everything's quieted down a bit, I can get back to reading to them.
[ A long pause between responses. She's not typing, until she actually has an answer: ]
You're someone who tries their best. You work hard so that you can feel like you belong among supernatural people and not feel useless. You try not to care for others, because losing them would hurt too bad.
The problem is... you don't want to be alone. That would hurt just as bad.
I don't know a lot about you, just what you've told me, but you've been considerate of me and people around you. You've been trying to help, even when you don't feel like you have a reason to anymore. Pushing yourself harder than you need to.
And... I mean, most importantly, you're my friend. I see you as someone I want to keep safe, no matter what.
A lot of it is true. Sure, there's some things that are off--how the real reason why she tries to put some distance between herself and others, a wall used to protect herself.
Not just because losing the people she cares about would be absolutely awful.
But because of her inherent fear--her cowardice.
She doesn't want to be betrayed.
She doesn't want to be hurt by others.
That's why she puts up that front of hers.
She has to be the 'confident Inaba Himeko'. She needs to cover up all her weaknesses. If she doesn't--who would care? She's too worthless, too weak otherwise. She's nothing.
It's why she has to keep on going in spite of herself. It's ironic, in the end--that she puts herself in a place where she holes herself to be alone and yet craves to be with people. Then again, she did this to herself. That's just the kind of person she is.
In the end...she hasn't changed enough.
She's still the scared girl who can't trust others. ]
I see.
A "friend", huh... that makes me happy.
[ There's things she isn't saying. But that's fine.
It's true that she's happy, though--someone who really sees her as a friend. ]
So, as long as you're here, if there's something you're struggling with, you can let me know. I'm never busy enough that I can't help you.
Carrying so many burdens on your shoulders can hurt. I know from experience. So... if you start to buckle, I'll be there to support you. If you're willing to do the same for me, I mean...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...
Screw it. ]
That's really cute. What the hell.
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The poems I wrote were pretty garbage!
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I'm not a harsh critic. We barely even did anything Literature Club like while I was in the Literature Club.
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My club was like that.
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Not unless I found another date who was into that sort of thing. Which is unlikely to happen.
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[ She feels like she's reminiscing already. ]
I really haven't been to the library in a long time.
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I don't think I can go...
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Though, I guess I really don't know why you'd avoid it. I figured you hadn't been while you weren't going outside, but...
That's not really my business though, I guess?
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Besides, even kind people can have their limits. They don't need to forgive me.
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Trust me. There are a few unforgivable things I can think of, and I can't imagine you doing any of them.
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But your idea of 'unforgivable' isn't the same as another's.
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Maybe you did something really bad, maybe you're just good at pretending to be kind.
That doesn't change the person I see you as.
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You're someone who tries their best. You work hard so that you can feel like you belong among supernatural people and not feel useless. You try not to care for others, because losing them would hurt too bad.
The problem is... you don't want to be alone. That would hurt just as bad.
I don't know a lot about you, just what you've told me, but you've been considerate of me and people around you. You've been trying to help, even when you don't feel like you have a reason to anymore. Pushing yourself harder than you need to.
And... I mean, most importantly, you're my friend. I see you as someone I want to keep safe, no matter what.
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A lot of it is true. Sure, there's some things that are off--how the real reason why she tries to put some distance between herself and others, a wall used to protect herself.
Not just because losing the people she cares about would be absolutely awful.
But because of her inherent fear--her cowardice.
She doesn't want to be betrayed.
She doesn't want to be hurt by others.
That's why she puts up that front of hers.
She has to be the 'confident Inaba Himeko'. She needs to cover up all her weaknesses. If she doesn't--who would care? She's too worthless, too weak otherwise. She's nothing.
It's why she has to keep on going in spite of herself. It's ironic, in the end--that she puts herself in a place where she holes herself to be alone and yet craves to be with people. Then again, she did this to herself. That's just the kind of person she is.
In the end...she hasn't changed enough.
She's still the scared girl who can't trust others. ]
I see.
A "friend", huh... that makes me happy.
[ There's things she isn't saying. But that's fine.
It's true that she's happy, though--someone who really sees her as a friend. ]
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So, as long as you're here, if there's something you're struggling with, you can let me know. I'm never busy enough that I can't help you.
Carrying so many burdens on your shoulders can hurt. I know from experience. So... if you start to buckle, I'll be there to support you. If you're willing to do the same for me, I mean...
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1/2
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