[He gives her a gentle squeeze when adding,] And she's allowed to cry on me. You can complain or be scared. I want to be with you through all of it. Is that okay?
I won't. [As long as they aren't telling anyone, Yuuto will cuddle her a bit closer,] So don't hold back. If I may, then I won't let you go until you're ready.
[He threads his fingers through her hair, hand on the back of her head to support the embrace.] ... Are you comfortable, Inaba?
... We could always be greedy together? I can be greedy for the 'Inaba' that no one else is allowed to see.
[Though his voice is getting softer. Yuuto is comfortable too. It feels nice to hold her again. The cold ache in his heart melts when they're like this.]
[It feels surreal. In the past few hours, Yuuto's entire world has fallen apart. Literally, figuratively, metaphorically; Logic tells him that now isn't the time. But it feels nice. His broken heart feels so warm right now.
He can be allowed this, right?
Yuuto puts a hand on her cheek and leans in for a kiss. Quickly and timidly. It's been so long since he felt her lips on his.]
She doesn't stop him, instead closing her eyes as she relaxes--it's been way too long since she's had this. She didn't think that she would be allowed to, after so long.
After a moment, she breaks the kiss, but keeps herself close to him. ]
[He's slowly pushing her back on the bed,] Mm. I'm a greedy blackhole. And I want your warmth, Himeko.
[This is bad. Yuuto still has enough sense to know that he has to be careful with how greedy he gets tonight. He isn't the only one with a gravitational pull.]
[His eyes are beginning to glow as his focus becomes Inaba and nothing else. Even then, with Inaba pinned under him, Yuuto nearly shrinks into uncertainty.]
I didn't want to hurt you with my feelings... But this is okay? I trust you...
[ She pauses, her gaze flitting away from him out of the guilt that's been eating away at her the last couple of months. ]
I hurt you so much. I felt that I didn't deserve any second chances, and that... you already had someone else. I already had other people, both back home and at the Foundation. I shouldn't be allowed to be greedy. That's what I thought. I'd only hurt you more just like I did that day.
[Yuuto listens, even when he doesn’t want to think too hard about it. She isn’t wrong. He got hurt repeatedly during that time. When they broke up especially, Yuuto was confused and in so much pain that he nearly backtracked on all of the process he had made.
Keeping his movements slow and careful, he tries to tilt her face to look at him again.]
Yeah. It hurt.
But I needed it. I was an idiot… I didn’t understand what ‘love’ really meant. I was so afraid of losing you to my curse… And I was hurting you too, wasn’t I?
After Ryoko had told me those things, I thought that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I liked you for all the wrong reasons. I couldn't help but question myself: did I actually like Yuuto- or did I like you simply because you were the circle block that filled into the circle shaped hole that was in my heart?
I thought that maybe it was bad... that "I had a type". And how that type was so precise and-- I worried. I worried that if I kept this up, I'd hurt you more, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to be in a relationship if it meant that my feelings were so superficial. I thought that you deserved better than me, if that's how I felt.
So, I needed space... to think about it. To be absolutely sure if I was right or not.
[ ... ]
And I was wrong, of course.
I was wrong, but when I noticed that-- I was too terrified to say anything, or even come back. The situation had grown too awkward. I thought that... this was fine. Eventually, I'd go back and I'd date Taichi. I'd have someone back home, so I didn't really need to concern myself over being so selfish. I couldn't allow myself to hurt you again, and more than that...
I felt like I didn't deserve it. I probably was hated at that point by so many people... after all, I didn't have any friends. The only reason that Ryoko even came over was because you asked her to. It wasn't for me at all. So I was truly alone.
[Yuuto listens. And while he does, he gradually lays down next to her on the bed. It doesn’t feel right to pin her when they’re talking about these things. She deserves an escape, just in case.
Honesty is scary.]
But she stayed for you.
[And he wonders if Ryoko was right about other things. Maybe he should have trusted himself and visited more.]
… It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to love me when I didn’t know who “I” was, Inaba. And… leaving you like that… That was wrong too.
I thought I was hurting you… If you had never loved me, then everything we did together must have hurt you… I didn’t want to add to that. [No one is surprised when he admits,] And I thought Speck-san might be right about me.
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[He gives her a gentle squeeze when adding,] And she's allowed to cry on me. You can complain or be scared. I want to be with you through all of it. Is that okay?
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... mmm. J-Just-- don't tell anyone else.
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[He threads his fingers through her hair, hand on the back of her head to support the embrace.] ... Are you comfortable, Inaba?
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[ ... ]
But yeah, I'm fine.
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[Though his voice is getting softer. Yuuto is comfortable too. It feels nice to hold her again. The cold ache in his heart melts when they're like this.]
Me too. You're so warm...
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What do you want, Inaba?
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Yeah.
Can I kiss you back?
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And... I meant what I said earlier. Call me by my first name.
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... Himeko? [Yuuto waits, half expecting to be struck by lightning or otherwise punished for crossing a line.]
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You.
I want to kiss you, Himeko.
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[ Her face is beet red. Ahh, she can't help it, can she? ]
Go ahead.
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[It feels surreal. In the past few hours, Yuuto's entire world has fallen apart. Literally, figuratively, metaphorically; Logic tells him that now isn't the time. But it feels nice. His broken heart feels so warm right now.
He can be allowed this, right?
Yuuto puts a hand on her cheek and leans in for a kiss. Quickly and timidly. It's been so long since he felt her lips on his.]
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She doesn't stop him, instead closing her eyes as she relaxes--it's been way too long since she's had this. She didn't think that she would be allowed to, after so long.
After a moment, she breaks the kiss, but keeps herself close to him. ]
Was that...enough?
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But he's greedy. Yuuto leans in again, lips parted for another kiss.]
I don't think... I can ever have enough of you, Himeko.
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[ She's more honest now than she's been in the last couple of months.
It's funny, how this is working out. ]
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[This is bad. Yuuto still has enough sense to know that he has to be careful with how greedy he gets tonight. He isn't the only one with a gravitational pull.]
Want me back..? I'll give you anything.
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If he says that-- ]
Yeah. I do want you... I wanted you for a long time, but I was scared.
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[His eyes are beginning to glow as his focus becomes Inaba and nothing else. Even then, with Inaba pinned under him, Yuuto nearly shrinks into uncertainty.]
I didn't want to hurt you with my feelings... But this is okay? I trust you...
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[ She pauses, her gaze flitting away from him out of the guilt that's been eating away at her the last couple of months. ]
I hurt you so much. I felt that I didn't deserve any second chances, and that... you already had someone else. I already had other people, both back home and at the Foundation. I shouldn't be allowed to be greedy. That's what I thought. I'd only hurt you more just like I did that day.
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Keeping his movements slow and careful, he tries to tilt her face to look at him again.]
Yeah. It hurt.
But I needed it. I was an idiot… I didn’t understand what ‘love’ really meant. I was so afraid of losing you to my curse… And I was hurting you too, wasn’t I?
[…] I want that second chance.
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After Ryoko had told me those things, I thought that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I liked you for all the wrong reasons. I couldn't help but question myself: did I actually like Yuuto- or did I like you simply because you were the circle block that filled into the circle shaped hole that was in my heart?
I thought that maybe it was bad... that "I had a type". And how that type was so precise and-- I worried. I worried that if I kept this up, I'd hurt you more, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to be in a relationship if it meant that my feelings were so superficial. I thought that you deserved better than me, if that's how I felt.
So, I needed space... to think about it. To be absolutely sure if I was right or not.
[ ... ]
And I was wrong, of course.
I was wrong, but when I noticed that-- I was too terrified to say anything, or even come back. The situation had grown too awkward. I thought that... this was fine. Eventually, I'd go back and I'd date Taichi. I'd have someone back home, so I didn't really need to concern myself over being so selfish. I couldn't allow myself to hurt you again, and more than that...
I felt like I didn't deserve it. I probably was hated at that point by so many people... after all, I didn't have any friends. The only reason that Ryoko even came over was because you asked her to. It wasn't for me at all. So I was truly alone.
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Honesty is scary.]
But she stayed for you.
[And he wonders if Ryoko was right about other things. Maybe he should have trusted himself and visited more.]
… It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to love me when I didn’t know who “I” was, Inaba. And… leaving you like that… That was wrong too.
I thought I was hurting you… If you had never loved me, then everything we did together must have hurt you… I didn’t want to add to that. [No one is surprised when he admits,] And I thought Speck-san might be right about me.
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