She doesn't stop him, instead closing her eyes as she relaxes--it's been way too long since she's had this. She didn't think that she would be allowed to, after so long.
After a moment, she breaks the kiss, but keeps herself close to him. ]
[He's slowly pushing her back on the bed,] Mm. I'm a greedy blackhole. And I want your warmth, Himeko.
[This is bad. Yuuto still has enough sense to know that he has to be careful with how greedy he gets tonight. He isn't the only one with a gravitational pull.]
[His eyes are beginning to glow as his focus becomes Inaba and nothing else. Even then, with Inaba pinned under him, Yuuto nearly shrinks into uncertainty.]
I didn't want to hurt you with my feelings... But this is okay? I trust you...
[ She pauses, her gaze flitting away from him out of the guilt that's been eating away at her the last couple of months. ]
I hurt you so much. I felt that I didn't deserve any second chances, and that... you already had someone else. I already had other people, both back home and at the Foundation. I shouldn't be allowed to be greedy. That's what I thought. I'd only hurt you more just like I did that day.
[Yuuto listens, even when he doesn’t want to think too hard about it. She isn’t wrong. He got hurt repeatedly during that time. When they broke up especially, Yuuto was confused and in so much pain that he nearly backtracked on all of the process he had made.
Keeping his movements slow and careful, he tries to tilt her face to look at him again.]
Yeah. It hurt.
But I needed it. I was an idiot… I didn’t understand what ‘love’ really meant. I was so afraid of losing you to my curse… And I was hurting you too, wasn’t I?
After Ryoko had told me those things, I thought that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I liked you for all the wrong reasons. I couldn't help but question myself: did I actually like Yuuto- or did I like you simply because you were the circle block that filled into the circle shaped hole that was in my heart?
I thought that maybe it was bad... that "I had a type". And how that type was so precise and-- I worried. I worried that if I kept this up, I'd hurt you more, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to be in a relationship if it meant that my feelings were so superficial. I thought that you deserved better than me, if that's how I felt.
So, I needed space... to think about it. To be absolutely sure if I was right or not.
[ ... ]
And I was wrong, of course.
I was wrong, but when I noticed that-- I was too terrified to say anything, or even come back. The situation had grown too awkward. I thought that... this was fine. Eventually, I'd go back and I'd date Taichi. I'd have someone back home, so I didn't really need to concern myself over being so selfish. I couldn't allow myself to hurt you again, and more than that...
I felt like I didn't deserve it. I probably was hated at that point by so many people... after all, I didn't have any friends. The only reason that Ryoko even came over was because you asked her to. It wasn't for me at all. So I was truly alone.
[Yuuto listens. And while he does, he gradually lays down next to her on the bed. It doesn’t feel right to pin her when they’re talking about these things. She deserves an escape, just in case.
Honesty is scary.]
But she stayed for you.
[And he wonders if Ryoko was right about other things. Maybe he should have trusted himself and visited more.]
… It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to love me when I didn’t know who “I” was, Inaba. And… leaving you like that… That was wrong too.
I thought I was hurting you… If you had never loved me, then everything we did together must have hurt you… I didn’t want to add to that. [No one is surprised when he admits,] And I thought Speck-san might be right about me.
[Yuuto nods, silent at first as he wraps his arms around her. The only sounds in the room come from the two of them and the steady rain outside. It’s relaxing to the point that he feels tired.]
… I want to try again. One date at a time. If that’s okay with you?
Who is very comfortable cuddling Inaba. He’s only going to get more affectionate as this goes on, unless she stops him. It’s been so long since he got to hold her.]
It feels like I’m dreaming. I might fall asleep if we stay like this.
[She had better have her nullification on already or else the furniture in the room is about to start to move. Yuuto closes his glowing eyes. They're so close that his extra senses can't tell them apart; Like two stars trapped in each other's orbit, spinning towards a stellar collision. It's nice.
Yuuto shifts his legs to catch hers, further cementing that feeling.]
Are you comfortable too, Himeko? I can... move? [His exhausted whispers suggest that will take a lot of effort.]
[He's trying to tease, before he quiets down in favor of sleep. Between the sound of rain and warmth the embrace, Yuuto will probably fall asleep fast.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
She doesn't stop him, instead closing her eyes as she relaxes--it's been way too long since she's had this. She didn't think that she would be allowed to, after so long.
After a moment, she breaks the kiss, but keeps herself close to him. ]
Was that...enough?
no subject
But he's greedy. Yuuto leans in again, lips parted for another kiss.]
I don't think... I can ever have enough of you, Himeko.
no subject
[ She's more honest now than she's been in the last couple of months.
It's funny, how this is working out. ]
no subject
[This is bad. Yuuto still has enough sense to know that he has to be careful with how greedy he gets tonight. He isn't the only one with a gravitational pull.]
Want me back..? I'll give you anything.
no subject
If he says that-- ]
Yeah. I do want you... I wanted you for a long time, but I was scared.
no subject
[His eyes are beginning to glow as his focus becomes Inaba and nothing else. Even then, with Inaba pinned under him, Yuuto nearly shrinks into uncertainty.]
I didn't want to hurt you with my feelings... But this is okay? I trust you...
no subject
[ She pauses, her gaze flitting away from him out of the guilt that's been eating away at her the last couple of months. ]
I hurt you so much. I felt that I didn't deserve any second chances, and that... you already had someone else. I already had other people, both back home and at the Foundation. I shouldn't be allowed to be greedy. That's what I thought. I'd only hurt you more just like I did that day.
no subject
Keeping his movements slow and careful, he tries to tilt her face to look at him again.]
Yeah. It hurt.
But I needed it. I was an idiot… I didn’t understand what ‘love’ really meant. I was so afraid of losing you to my curse… And I was hurting you too, wasn’t I?
[…] I want that second chance.
no subject
After Ryoko had told me those things, I thought that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I liked you for all the wrong reasons. I couldn't help but question myself: did I actually like Yuuto- or did I like you simply because you were the circle block that filled into the circle shaped hole that was in my heart?
I thought that maybe it was bad... that "I had a type". And how that type was so precise and-- I worried. I worried that if I kept this up, I'd hurt you more, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to be in a relationship if it meant that my feelings were so superficial. I thought that you deserved better than me, if that's how I felt.
So, I needed space... to think about it. To be absolutely sure if I was right or not.
[ ... ]
And I was wrong, of course.
I was wrong, but when I noticed that-- I was too terrified to say anything, or even come back. The situation had grown too awkward. I thought that... this was fine. Eventually, I'd go back and I'd date Taichi. I'd have someone back home, so I didn't really need to concern myself over being so selfish. I couldn't allow myself to hurt you again, and more than that...
I felt like I didn't deserve it. I probably was hated at that point by so many people... after all, I didn't have any friends. The only reason that Ryoko even came over was because you asked her to. It wasn't for me at all. So I was truly alone.
no subject
Honesty is scary.]
But she stayed for you.
[And he wonders if Ryoko was right about other things. Maybe he should have trusted himself and visited more.]
… It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to love me when I didn’t know who “I” was, Inaba. And… leaving you like that… That was wrong too.
I thought I was hurting you… If you had never loved me, then everything we did together must have hurt you… I didn’t want to add to that. [No one is surprised when he admits,] And I thought Speck-san might be right about me.
no subject
[ There, she said it.
And as she does, she curls herself into a bit of a protective ball. ]
I'm sorry.
no subject
[As she curls up, Yuuto reaches out to squeeze her shoulders and get her attention.]
Come here? I’m cold.
no subject
...Is that better?
no subject
… I want to try again. One date at a time. If that’s okay with you?
no subject
no subject
Who is very comfortable cuddling Inaba. He’s only going to get more affectionate as this goes on, unless she stops him. It’s been so long since he got to hold her.]
It feels like I’m dreaming. I might fall asleep if we stay like this.
no subject
no subject
Yuuto shifts his legs to catch hers, further cementing that feeling.]
Are you comfortable too, Himeko? I can... move? [His exhausted whispers suggest that will take a lot of effort.]
no subject
Yeah. I might be able to have decent enough dreams.
no subject
[He's trying to tease, before he quiets down in favor of sleep. Between the sound of rain and warmth the embrace, Yuuto will probably fall asleep fast.]