[ oda shrugs. even if it was a big deal (and it is), he wouldn't want to tell her.
or anyone, that is.
he looks a bit troubled when she mentions how she misses her friend. oda wishes that there was something more he could do but-- he really can't, can he? ]
Yeah...that's normal. You've been here for long, haven't you?
[ oda frowns. sure, he can imagine that it must be nice to not have anyone else they know here (he wouldn't know what to do if the foundation had picked up akutagawa as well) but... he can also imagine how lonely it must be for her. ]
Well, it might not be the same but maybe you can still celebrate it with friends you've made here. There must be someone you know that can bake a cake.
[ oda is incredibly thankful that the game ended without any casualties. perhaps a small philosophical debate, but karen survived the mountain, and those are the best news of them all.
he's in the common room, with a cup of coffee and a novel in his hands--20,000 leagues under the sea--when he hears someone's steps. when he glances up and sees inaba, oda immediately relaxes, lowering the book for a moment. ]
he seems to have finally passed out after a long evening, and an even longer day. there's a book that's laying on the floor next to the sofa he's sleeping on, having clearly fallen off his hand.
she's not going to wake him up just yet since he's probably exhausted from everything. who wouldn't be, after all? but yeah, sure, let's pick up that book, what is it? ]
[ both the noise and the new pressure finally makes oda give in to the fact that there's someone else in the room. slowly, he opens his eyes, feeling the book fall on his lap.
he gives inaba a tired glance, followed by a tilt of his head. ]
[ her apology is rather soft as she brushes her skirt a bit. ]
I'm fine compared to. . . everyone else, I guess.
[ it's easy to distance yourself when you weren't really close to the ones involved. and it isn't as if she's relatively surprised about what happened, anyway.
she even bounced before hearing anything too pertinent, so. ]
Only a little. There's so much I don't get--about this and about that. But at this point it all means the same to me.
[ oda runs a hand through his face, every one of his muscles tense with stress. ]
It's why the Dazai here--I can't stand him. I can't stand looking at his face and seeing that man I met at the bar. I thought he was just lying, but realizing that it was true... that's cruel. It's too cruel.
[ whatever emotion that was in oda's voice has left. his voice is tired. ]
The worst part is being unable to do anything about it. If he was alive still...I'd like to at least punch him once. To see if he gets his common sense back. [ he pauses ] But that's never going to happen. I just have to carry this for the rest of my life.
Just let me have the first punch and you can do whatever you want with him.
[ god he wishes he could at least laugh about this, but nope! ]
I just wish...he wouldn't have done that. If what he did somehow prevented me from dying, then it wasn't worth the pain he must have gone through while becoming the Boss of the Port Mafia. It wasn't worth the pain in his eyes, to do something that I'm never going to thank him for.
[ because, even if he was grateful, it's still impossible to give him any words of thanks. because there's no one to give them to. ]
[ he's had enough between yesterday and today, but who knows what saturday will bring. ]
I think that would just insult everyone that he must have used for his plans. [ and that's something he definitely doesn't like. ] I'm sorry. To you this was probably just a lot of unnecessary info and emotions.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
in the evening
but he finds inaba in the kitchen, and oda can feel himself frown a little out of worry. ]
Doing okay?
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[ She is absolutely not fine, even though she's distracting herself with some cooking to practice. ]
. . . You?
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Confused. But fine.
[ he walks over to her, looking to see what she's cooking ]
What are you making?
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[ The confusion, anyway.
She doesn't mind in the slightest bit if she can. ]
Curry. It's one of my friend's favorite food.
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[ he's having a small existential crisis.
HOWEVER, THE CURRY IS MORE IMPORTANT. oda immediately perks up, similar to a kid that's being told that they're going to mcdonalds ]
I agree with your friend. Curry's very good.
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[ spoken like a true hypocrite ]
But you're right, it is. I kind of miss him a lot.
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or anyone, that is.
he looks a bit troubled when she mentions how she misses her friend. oda wishes that there was something more he could do but-- he really can't, can he? ]
Yeah...that's normal. You've been here for long, haven't you?
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[ It's a comfort in so many ways, really. ]
It'll be my birthday in a few months and I'll be seventeen. . .
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[ oda frowns. sure, he can imagine that it must be nice to not have anyone else they know here (he wouldn't know what to do if the foundation had picked up akutagawa as well) but... he can also imagine how lonely it must be for her. ]
Well, it might not be the same but maybe you can still celebrate it with friends you've made here. There must be someone you know that can bake a cake.
wednesday evening, w1
he's in the common room, with a cup of coffee and a novel in his hands--20,000 leagues under the sea--when he hears someone's steps. when he glances up and sees inaba, oda immediately relaxes, lowering the book for a moment. ]
Thanks for the help earlier.
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[ She blinks at him a little bit, canting her head slightly. ]
No, I didn't really do much...
friday w4 post-shenanigans
maybe they can talk about things that aren't Moriarty and friends.
that'd probably be good, right? now if only she can find him... ]
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he seems to have finally passed out after a long evening, and an even longer day. there's a book that's laying on the floor next to the sofa he's sleeping on, having clearly fallen off his hand.
want to pick it up? ]
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she's not going to wake him up just yet since he's probably exhausted from everything. who wouldn't be, after all? but yeah, sure, let's pick up that book, what is it? ]
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the title's been all but blurred out by the wear and tear of the ages, but part of it is still faintly recognizable.
third volume
natsume souseki
oda stirs, but doesn't wake completely. he just throws an arm over his eyes, as if trying to stop himself from waking up. ]
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well that sure is a book! at least it's a book that she recognizes, but she isn't going to open it just.
puts it back, although the noise might make him aware that he isn't alone anymore. ]
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he gives inaba a tired glance, followed by a tilt of his head. ]
Hey. How're you feeling?
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[ her apology is rather soft as she brushes her skirt a bit. ]
I'm fine compared to. . . everyone else, I guess.
[ it's easy to distance yourself when you weren't really close to the ones involved. and it isn't as if she's relatively surprised about what happened, anyway.
she even bounced before hearing anything too pertinent, so. ]
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[ he won't look at her in the eye yet, his attention mostly focused on the book. ]
I think I have some sort of magnet for those kinds of weirdos. Really, it's the worst.
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[ she laughs a little bit, smiling a little bitterly for a second before the curve of her lips fades into something more neutral. ]
I don't think. . . it's a bad thing, you know. That people care.
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[ not that oda seems unhappy with that. he's...rather neutral about it, really. ]
Just like Silver never asked Moriarty to kill...I never asked that Dazai to do whatever he did.
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[ so, yes she absolutely is and then her expression freezes up.
her expression just widens and then in crumples. ]
. . . Ah. You figured that out, huh?
[ she assumes he's talking about the real Dazai.
the one from his world -- and the Atsushi that she met before this. ]
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[ oda runs a hand through his face, every one of his muscles tense with stress. ]
It's why the Dazai here--I can't stand him. I can't stand looking at his face and seeing that man I met at the bar. I thought he was just lying, but realizing that it was true... that's cruel. It's too cruel.
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[ she doesn't feel like she should be the one to say them. ]
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[ whatever emotion that was in oda's voice has left. his voice is tired. ]
The worst part is being unable to do anything about it. If he was alive still...I'd like to at least punch him once. To see if he gets his common sense back. [ he pauses ] But that's never going to happen. I just have to carry this for the rest of my life.
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[ sometimes the truth is better left unsaid. ]
Atsushi said something similar, you know. That if he was able to meet that Dazai again, he'd like to punch him. And honestly, I want to as well.
[ she earnestly means that. ]
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[ god he wishes he could at least laugh about this, but nope! ]
I just wish...he wouldn't have done that. If what he did somehow prevented me from dying, then it wasn't worth the pain he must have gone through while becoming the Boss of the Port Mafia. It wasn't worth the pain in his eyes, to do something that I'm never going to thank him for.
[ because, even if he was grateful, it's still impossible to give him any words of thanks. because there's no one to give them to. ]
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[ and then Atsushi has dibs.
oh boy does he have dibs. ]
. . . Even if he was in pain. That still doesn't excuse what he did to Atsushi. Or what he did to prevent your death.
suicidal ideation tw
[ oda nods. ]
I won't run to do this after yesterday but--I do think it'd be very ironic if I still went and died anyways.
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I'll punch you if you try.
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[ he's had enough between yesterday and today, but who knows what saturday will bring. ]
I think that would just insult everyone that he must have used for his plans. [ and that's something he definitely doesn't like. ] I'm sorry. To you this was probably just a lot of unnecessary info and emotions.
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[ she's so tired.
so goddamn tired. ]
And not really. I mean, I knew. . . most of it, already. Atsushi told me.