STARSAND ✦ ic inbox

[dereban]

contact post

text ✦ audio ✦ video ✦ action

CODE

Comments

[dereban]

Yeah. And... while my SOUL is powerful when it needs to be, it's still...

[ She trails off. ]

It's already done, [ since it's Christmas Eve ] so all I need to do is just have them set up. I'll have that done by the end of tomorrow and then test them out back at the house on the 26th.

[spacialeyes]

I see.

[Yuuto sighs. He’s relieved to know about the cameras and that Inaba won’t be putting herself in danger. He also feels guilty. The talk of her soul only reminds him of his own uselessness.]

I have to go back to sleep tomorrow. I might not be awake for a long time… Wish Maker already got to me.

So please be careful, Inaba.

[dereban]

I don't plan on putting myself in any unnecessary danger.

[ "Unnecessary danger" being the key words here. ]

[spacialeyes]

I know that you won’t… [But the ‘unnecessary’ part is why he’s still worried!

Yuuto covers his ‘Rumor’ again. It’s so easy to talk to Inaba. He could show this side of himself to her without fearing judgment. But it’s also Christmas and probably his last day with her for a long time. Rather than hide away in his despair, Yuuto wants to spend his time happy. He wants the same for Inaba.

So he slowly lowers his hand, trying to let his fears go.]

Thank you for telling me that I was hurting you, Inaba. I’ll be more careful in the future.

It makes me feel better knowing that you could tell me…

[dereban]

I'm just... really bad at handling things like that unprompted. I deal with it better when I can control the situation.

[ If she can't control it, if it's out of her hands, she gets frustrated and scared and it just hurts. ]

[spacialeyes]

I know what you mean… At least a little bit.

[His power relies on formula manipulation, after all. Yuuto needs control and understanding of his surroundings to do that properly.]

May I… tell you something that’s been on my mind, too?

[dereban]

...You can, yeah.

[spacialeyes]

[His tail swishes nervously… but if she’s going to be brave enough to voice her feelings, then so will he.

Even if he’s ashamed of himself.]

… am I gross?

[dereban]

Huh? You smell fine...like soap, actually.

[ ...

Is that her way of making a joke? Perhaps. ]

But - no. You're not.

[spacialeyes]

[He looks down at his hands, resisting the urge to smell his shirt and confirm that he isn't stinky. And as he's finding the words to express himself, Yuuto's belt makes his fear obvious by curling around him loosely.]

It would be 'okay' if I was. My blood is made of that goo and I'm neither human nor kami. I've been disliked for less...

[Though he knows Inaba's reactions to him aren't because of the Distortion. Yuuto sighs.]

I understand that we're... our relationship is kind of complicated... Because I got selfish. I understand why you'd be uncomfortable around me. I'm just not sure how to help. It feels like I'm hurting you sometimes...

[dereban]

I don't dislike you, you know. What happened wasn't... your fault. It was mine.

[spacialeyes]

That’s not… [Yuuto lets his voice die off. He doesn’t think it was his fault. He’s also someone who to can’t blame others or he’ll go insane.

A compromise then.]

It was our fault, I get it. And I’m sorry. I don’t want to be hurting you anymore, so…

Even if it’s small. If I hurt you, please tell me.

[dereban]

...then - you have to do the same.

[ It'll sting. She knows. But it's better to know than to imagine even worse. ]

[spacialeyes]

[He slowly nods,] I can try, mm… I’m not very good at figuring out when I’m hurting anymore. But!

For you. Mm. I’ll do my best.

I don’t want to lose you again.

[dereban]

As long as you try. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have, but... I know what kind of person I am.

[spacialeyes]

Hey..!

[Yuuto pouts,] Talking about my best friend that way... I could beat you up, you know.

[Except everyone knows that Yuuto is incapable of violence against anyone, especially not a friend.]

I was really fine. I'm used to it. At least you came back. Most of the time I... [No, he's not going to speak ill of his family. They're all he has. If Yuuto lets any resentment build up towards him, then he really will be alone.

So he leans into the childish pouting to distract himself.]

You're a good person. I don't say that lightly, okay?

[dereban]

But you won't because I'll kick your ass. But, I'm not putting myself down or anything; I'm just stating simple fact. I'm a very dark person--someone finds it difficult to think positively.

[spacialeyes]

I still don’t think that’s all true… You might see things as dark, but you’re a light, Inaba.

[But he won’t argue too much. Otherwise this will get really embarrassing.]

Ah, that reminds me somehow. Wait here for a moment, please.

[dereban]

...?

[ She looks at him curiously. What is he planning. ]

[spacialeyes]

[When Yuuto walks to the kitchenette, he’s followed by most of the greedy kittens, who want food— Except two of them, who are napping by Inaba. He doesn’t actually have a fridge yet, but Yuuto does open the modest oven to retrieve a cardboard box.

He returns to set it on the table, so that Inaba can inspect the contents of the little cake box. He’s prepared a tiny strawberry shortcake, with a sugar cookie sticking out of it. Of course, it has her name written on it in chocolate. Clumsily so, as Yuuto will never be good at handwriting.]

They probably don’t sell Christmas cake in the stores here, right? So I made you one. Just in case?

[… There’s a cat halfway up his pants leg;] Okay, okay. Let me feed you… Ah, be back again, sorry…

[dereban]

I mean, Christmas cake is literally just a strawberry shortcake. You didn't have to make me one, you know...

[ She wasn't really going to be in the mood for cake in the first place. ]

[spacialeyes]

Ehehe… Then don’t cut into it. There’s a surprise in the middle.

[But he won’t elaborate on that ominous warning.]

December and Christmas are hard for you, right? So… No, maybe you didn’t need it. But I wanted for you to have the option. I think if it was me, you’d want to give me the option of changing my fate too… That, or you’d kick me.

[dereban]

Now you're making me curious.

[ And you know the words 'curiosity killed the cat'. ]

I mean... you should be able to. You should be allowed to.

[ She's a hypocrite, though. Her own fate can't be changed. She isn't allowed to. ]

[spacialeyes]

Am I~? [It’s almost like he hid something there to purposefully get her to at least think about cutting it open.

He closes his eyes to hide any change in their colour while he elaborates.]

Remember when we went to Watanagashi together? And I told you that I never got to go to festivals…

That was only a bit true. I did sneak out into festivals when I was younger. I caused a lot of trouble and hurt a lot of people. My family started locking ‘Yuuto’ up in the shrine’s inner quarters, where I couldn’t bother people. Back then, holidays like Spirit Day were things that I had to spend alone. And I thought I’d have to be locked up for Christmas too.

I don’t want that for you… But if you’re going to be away, at least don’t be alone. I want you to have a bit of company. Even if it’s in the form of a cake.

[dereban]

... should I be worried that you put something weird in here?