[As promised, Yuuto arrives soon after. Even if he’s the one who asked, he’s nervous about the visit… He doesn’t want to mess up and drive her further away.
But he did tell Ryoko that he’d stop being such a coward.]
[It’s a familiar feeling to have his hopes dashed. So much so that he recovers from the fall without so much as a sigh. Of course she wouldn’t want to see him. She’s never going to want that. She never wanted to see him to begin with.
It hurts, but he’s gotten used to it. What difference would it make? She would just get cold from opening the door.
He tries to reply agreeably and steps forward to set the gift bag and boxes at the door. Then, as he’s leaning over, he sees the pink scarf that Ryoko made him tip into his line of sight.
Maybe not for you. But I- [His voice trails off. It takes Yuuto a second to gather his courage and selfishness again and put them into words.]
I want to see you.
[Yuuto takes a step back, trying to demonstrate that he knows he should stay away. Even if he’s selfishly asking to break his own boundary.]
I want to say goodbye. I don’t want to have anymore regrets.
And also, I’m… I’m really worried… about you… And I’m not going to ask anyone else to bring those feelings to you on my behalf. I’m done being a coward.
Even adults can be worried about... And you told me yourself how you feel. [That she's scared. She has trouble trusting people. She may not have meant for 'Yuuto' to hear that, but she still said it.]
Inaba-san, please... Stop. No one can do anything if you don't speak up. I can't read your mind. I can't leave you in pain either.
[He doesn't mean to raise his voice... and honestly, yelling in the street is probably not a good thing. So even if Yuuto feels like he might explode with emotions, he forces himself to lower his voice and be calm.]
'Someone like you...' Someone who cares? Who is working hard? Who holed herself up like this, probably because she thinks it's good for the people outside?
[He takes another step back-] Someone that I love? I'll worry about someone like you all that I want! And I haven't regretted it, not for a second, Inaba-san. I've never ever once regretted you. I'm not even sorry for it!
Then tell me what it is like. Tell me honestly, Inaba-san!
[He holds his ground. Even if she can't see him, Yuuto is beginning to shake. He's terrified of hurting her, but he's even more scared of watching her suffer on her own.
Once again, he tries to control his volume.]
You don't want me around you-- I get that. And I'm sorry that I keep coming back. I'm sorry that I can't leave you alone yet. But watching this is too much... I don't know what to do anymore! I need you to meet me, or someone else, halfway. Please.
[ She hesitates, her words caught in her throat. Meeting someone halfway is impossible. Why can't he understand that she's no good at all? She's not a good person.
She can feel herself shaken.
There's no way that she can be honest about this. Sure, he's said it before, that he didn't mind, but - she minds. She cares too much about her presentation. ]
I can't -
[ There's an obvious tremble in those words. ]
... I'm sorry.
[ She takes a step back from the door, two. And then, like the coward she really is, she runs. Back into the recesses of her room. She can't do this. ]
He’s just gonna sit out here and take a nap. It’s fine. He’s got a few weeks to recover from the cold later. They can both be stubborn about this. She can call for a cleanup on her doorstep.]
[ Fine you go take your nap it's not her problem and she doesn't know that he's being dumb and sleeping!! She's sure that someone is going to find out that he's doing something this stupid sooner rather than later. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I’m a coward.
I’m sorry.
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Anyway, fine, you can come over.
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But I’ll be right there. Thank you, Inaba-san.
[As promised, Yuuto arrives soon after. Even if he’s the one who asked, he’s nervous about the visit… He doesn’t want to mess up and drive her further away.
But he did tell Ryoko that he’d stop being such a coward.]
Inaba-san? It’s Yuuto.
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Nevertheless, she doesn't actually - uh, open the door when she hears him, but he'll be able to hear her from the other side of the door. ]
You can leave whatever you brought at the doorstep.
[ While she's pushing nonchalance in her voice through it, there's also an air of exhaustion in every note, too. ]
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It hurts, but he’s gotten used to it. What difference would it make? She would just get cold from opening the door.
He tries to reply agreeably and steps forward to set the gift bag and boxes at the door. Then, as he’s leaning over, he sees the pink scarf that Ryoko made him tip into his line of sight.
…]
Can I see you?
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What would be the point? It won't change anything.
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Maybe not for you. But I- [His voice trails off. It takes Yuuto a second to gather his courage and selfishness again and put them into words.]
I want to see you.
[Yuuto takes a step back, trying to demonstrate that he knows he should stay away. Even if he’s selfishly asking to break his own boundary.]
I want to say goodbye. I don’t want to have anymore regrets.
And also, I’m… I’m really worried… about you… And I’m not going to ask anyone else to bring those feelings to you on my behalf. I’m done being a coward.
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[ Her voice is awfully cold; there's little to no emotion in her words. ]
I'll be fine. I can handle myself. I'm an adult, after all.
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Even adults can be worried about... And you told me yourself how you feel. [That she's scared. She has trouble trusting people. She may not have meant for 'Yuuto' to hear that, but she still said it.]
Inaba-san, please... Stop. No one can do anything if you don't speak up. I can't read your mind. I can't leave you in pain either.
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[ She's a liar. ]
I don't want people to worry about someone like me anymore! There's more important things to be concerned over and deal with!
[ But it's fine if she's a liar, because she can push people away. She has to. She has no other choice. ]
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[He doesn't mean to raise his voice... and honestly, yelling in the street is probably not a good thing. So even if Yuuto feels like he might explode with emotions, he forces himself to lower his voice and be calm.]
'Someone like you...' Someone who cares? Who is working hard? Who holed herself up like this, probably because she thinks it's good for the people outside?
[He takes another step back-] Someone that I love? I'll worry about someone like you all that I want! And I haven't regretted it, not for a second, Inaba-san. I've never ever once regretted you. I'm not even sorry for it!
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Since when did she become this awful at lying? Iori called her an expert, someone who could easily brush people aside?
She's glad her expression can't be seen from behind the door. ]
That's enough. It's really not like that.
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[He holds his ground. Even if she can't see him, Yuuto is beginning to shake. He's terrified of hurting her, but he's even more scared of watching her suffer on her own.
Once again, he tries to control his volume.]
You don't want me around you-- I get that. And I'm sorry that I keep coming back. I'm sorry that I can't leave you alone yet. But watching this is too much... I don't know what to do anymore! I need you to meet me, or someone else, halfway. Please.
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[ She hesitates, her words caught in her throat. Meeting someone halfway is impossible. Why can't he understand that she's no good at all? She's not a good person.
She can feel herself shaken.
There's no way that she can be honest about this. Sure, he's said it before, that he didn't mind, but - she minds. She cares too much about her presentation. ]
I can't -
[ There's an obvious tremble in those words. ]
... I'm sorry.
[ She takes a step back from the door, two. And then, like the coward she really is, she runs. Back into the recesses of her room. She can't do this. ]
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He’s just gonna sit out here and take a nap. It’s fine. He’s got a few weeks to recover from the cold later. They can both be stubborn about this. She can call for a cleanup on her doorstep.]
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