scp r4 ♥ dazai catch-all

[dereban]

[ blanket cw for suicidal ideation ]

Comments

[guileturncoat]

Leave me here to die....

[Said face down into the carpet with as much shame as it deserves.]

[dereban]

You stupid idiot. Here, let me help you up.

[ She moves a little bit to put her hand out for him to grab. Please let her pull him up onto the couch. ]

[guileturncoat]

[He is dead weight right now.]

Nooooo, I gotta grow mushrooms here on the floor now....

[dereban]

I can't believe you. You try and impress someone and then subsequently ate shit.

I haven't seen someone eat that much crap since—

[ And that's when she stops herself, midsentence in sudden realization. ]

Ugh.

[guileturncoat]

...

[...

A snort of amusement can be heard from Dazai's place on the carpet.]

[dereban]

Don't laugh at me you stupid moron! You're actually a huge fucking bottom, aren't you?! Maybe I should call you Uke-san from now on!

[guileturncoat]

That's stupid! I like girls, how can a guy bottom to a girl?

[This nerd is apparently Painfully Vanilla.]

[dereban]

. . .have you seen Oda and Saki? He's totally whipped and bottoms to a girl! Hell, I totally bet he fucking bottomed to Giriko and you know it.

[guileturncoat]

...is this a bad time to admit I'm a virgin and all I know about sex is what I learned in health class plus some stuff from memes on the internet?

[dereban]

I'm not even surprised. Well, it's not like I've gotten some, either, in spite of wanting to, but I probably know more than you, vanilla boy.

[guileturncoat]

...you need to stop reading doujin, Inaba-san.

also ig nsfw talk escalates from here......

[dereban]

I can't help that I need material because I can't screw anyone!

[guileturncoat]

Don't you have two boyfriends??? Screw one of them!

[dereban]

Atsushi literally can't bang anyone because he starts to go tiger, and Ichigo is barely around anymore. . .

[guileturncoat]

Wow.

I'm sorry.

[dereban]

[ She sighs a little bit, pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head.

Maybe she should move away from this topic before she gets too sad— ]

By the way, I almost forgot. I wanted to thank you for earlier.

[guileturncoat]

Ah, so you figured it out?

[She was holding the cup, so it had to be obvious for her.]

[dereban]

It was obvious.

[ She answers quietly, not looking at him directly. ]

. . . Why did you do it?

[guileturncoat]

Because I didn't want you to die.

[dereban]

. . . why?

[ She's going to press on to that matter because it's important to her. The reason besides not wanting her to die. ]

[guileturncoat]

Because you are my friend, and I value you as a person.

[dereban]

You shouldn't.

[ no hesitation on that last part ]

[guileturncoat]

Well I do. That's just how things are going to be.

[dereban]

. . . Does that mean you trust me?

[guileturncoat]

As much as I can right now, yes.