scp r4 ♥ atsushi catch-all

[dereban]

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[dereban]

. . .

[ She's not going to say anything although she does have a good idea as to what he's probably planning. ]

I don't mind helping. I kind of have a whole fridge of it back on site in the dorm, and I've been experimenting with different kinds of chazuke besides the plain one.

[scarsnstripes]

[She's probably right, because Atsushi is unfortunately predictable regarding this.

He brightens at the mention of other kinds, though. There were endless different ways to make Chazuke, so...]

Really? What kinds?

[dereban]

[ Him being predictable is honestly kind of cute, but she doesn't think it's a bad thing. ]

Shake-chazuke and tai-chazuke. Also just a lot of fish toppings, since that works a lot.

[ Also because Atsushi is a tiger and tigers like fish.

Probably. ]

[scarsnstripes]

[Sometimes that earnest personality has a charm all it's own.]

Oh...! Yes, fish works really well with the salty flavors.

[It's true, he does love fish. Chicken too, but those were his favorites.]

Do you make it for the other Atsushi a lot?

[dereban]

It does, doesn't it?

[ She enjoys the earnest personality.

Because she's anything but earnest a lot of the time. ]

Yeah, since it's simple and easy to make. I didn't learn how to cook until the Hotel, actually. [ Since she wanted to impress Atsushi, as she's aware he eats a lot... ] I can't really make too much other things.

[scarsnstripes]

But knowing a lot of variations of some things is really good.

[It's said like praise, because it is. He gets where she's coming from, honestly.]

Making Chazuke when I was growing up was more about using up the leftovers no one would miss. It was always warm and filling, you know?

[He wonders if the other Atsushi did that. If he told Inaba about that.]

I don't really know that many dishes either.

[dereban]

That's true.

[ She laughs a bit, though. ] It's okay, though, I guess. Anyway, what should we go for, today? Probably something a little more special, right? Since it's for a date.

[ Inaba, please. ]

[scarsnstripes]

[Atsushi's smiling and chuckling a little as well, at least until Inaba says that and he's choking on air.]

A-Ah... What date?! Who said anything about a date? It's not a date!! Wait, how did you know that I was--

[He could have just denied it but then he had to shove his foot in his mouth.]

[dereban]

You're really easy to read, Atsushi.

[ She chuckles under her breath, a little amused. ]

It's okay. I'll help and give you good luck right before you go visit.

[scarsnstripes]

[He groans, covering his face with one hand.]

It's really not a date, Inaba-chan. I'm just worried about him eating properly... It's been a rough week.

[Some might wonder why Atsushi's concerned about their host after such a week, but well...]

[dereban]

Haha. I'm just messing with you. I know.

[ There's fondness in her voice as she says those words. ]

I am going to help you, though. Besides, Dazai's been a pain in the ass the last couple of days and I really want to do something for him. Helping you is the least I could do.

Besides, I don't think he'd toss you out of his office.

[scarsnstripes]

[Ah... He can't help but give her a sheepish but grateful smile at that, even if there's a hint of pink to his cheeks.]

Thank you. I really think... well, I think this is all stressing him out more than he'll tell anyone. Though he hasn't thrown me out of his office yet... He's actually rather pleasant company.

[dereban]

No shit.

He's-- [ There's a pause, but then she shakes her head. ] He's an idiot.

[scarsnstripes]

He is.

[It's such a quick agreement, accompanied by a sigh. He wishes Dazai would tell him more, but...]

I'm worried about him, really. Though please don't tell anyone I said that...

[dereban]

I promise, but you do realize everyone watching would have heard that though, right?

[ just gestures at the camera ]

[scarsnstripes]

[C r a p.

he just... presses his face into his hands with a groan of mortification.]

[dereban]

I'd ask if you want to go to the bathroom, but.

[scarsnstripes]

...Let's just make dinner.

[Said in a slightly pitched voice Inaba might recognize at Atsushi being entirely too embarrassed.]

[dereban]

. . . Right.

[ Let's


go and do that. ]

[scarsnstripes]

[Please spare his dignity, Inaba.

What little he has, anyway.]

I'll tell him you said hi, when I visit him later.

[dereban]

When you do, can you make sure to smell him and make sure that he's bathed? Or doesn't smell weird?

[scarsnstripes]

[Just when he thought things couldn't get more embarrassing--]

You want me to what?!

[dereban]

You have a better sense of smell than I do because of the tiger. He told me on Monday that he didn't bathe in a few days and it was a lie, so I want to make sure he's doing proper hygiene in general. . .

Please?

[scarsnstripes]

H-he's what?

[He looks... well, concerned. A little grossed out too.

Dazai what?]

....This has to be one of the weirdest things someone's ever asked me.

[dereban]

Sorry. . . but it's Dazai. I'll owe you one.