[ She's quiet and a little contemplative. It's true that she doesn't like this. And a part of her wants to be selfish.
Hearing those words just reminds her of her decision back then. She closes her eyes for a moment as she writes the words she wants to say on his palm. ]
"The mind may err, but never the blood."
[ He probably knows that quote too, doesn't he? ]
To be honest, I like being alive.
I'm being a little stubborn again.
But I didn't want to see anybody else on my team sacrifice themselves.
Out of the four of us, in terms of volunteering, Saki has the best odds of surviving on her own and being able to save herself.
But I didn't... want to see anybody else volunteer.
Back at the Hotel, there was a trial, near the end.
She asked for them to vote.
And vote.
And vote continuously.
All I could do was watch them all get executed as people stepped up to sacrifice themselves. Each one of them getting voted off.
I didn't want a repeat of that.
And...
[ She pauses there, opening her eyes and lifting her finger, as if contemplating something before continuing, her lips pressed together firmly. ]
You're right that I should at least see how things turn out.
That maybe I can help more on this side. And I want to be able to. I just don't know how much longer I can.
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no subject
[They just can't. There's too much riding on this. It's why Atsushi can stomach calling him 'Dazai-san' still, even though he knows...]
You want to go home.
[It isn't a question.]
no subject
[ Everyone else's lives are on stake, too. She's all too aware of that. ]
I don't want to be in this body anymore.
[ Every time she's alone she thinks about it.
She doesn't want to. ]
But I still want to be able to help everybody. Even if that means doing it while dead again.
More than that, I scarily understand him more than I thought I would.
no subject
And did he have any right to tell her to stay, when he didn't want to stay either?]
Does that mean you have to die, though? Can't you at least wait to see how things turn out?
no subject
[ She's quiet and a little contemplative. It's true that she doesn't like this. And a part of her wants to be selfish.
Hearing those words just reminds her of her decision back then. She closes her eyes for a moment as she writes the words she wants to say on his palm. ]
"The mind may err, but never the blood."
[ He probably knows that quote too, doesn't he? ]
To be honest, I like being alive.
I'm being a little stubborn again.
But I didn't want to see anybody else on my team sacrifice themselves.
Out of the four of us, in terms of volunteering, Saki has the best odds of surviving on her own and being able to save herself.
But I didn't... want to see anybody else volunteer.
Back at the Hotel, there was a trial, near the end.
She asked for them to vote.
And vote.
And vote continuously.
All I could do was watch them all get executed as people stepped up to sacrifice themselves. Each one of them getting voted off.
I didn't want a repeat of that.
And...
[ She pauses there, opening her eyes and lifting her finger, as if contemplating something before continuing, her lips pressed together firmly. ]
You're right that I should at least see how things turn out.
That maybe I can help more on this side. And I want to be able to. I just don't know how much longer I can.