Well... there are at least two different ones. And both of them have made me suffer in a lot of ways. I guess one of them is still doing that right now, too. Even if that's a bit strange to admit in lieu of everything.
[Yuuto sighs. He knows that if he was anyone else, then he wouldn’t be able to understand this easily. But Yuuto knows about a library where all worlds and lives are collected as story books. The idea isn’t too far fetched for him to accept.
He moves a hand behind her head again, encouraging her to relax against him.]
That’s scary, huh? No wonder you were so quiet about it.
[ She leans against him, knowing that she can at least try and relax in his presence. ]
I've never actually spoken about this with anyone, before... honestly, I always thought that I'd have to pretend that it just wasn't a thing for the rest of my life, because it's crazy, right? The idea of just being a fucking puppet for someone else all the time.
It’s not that crazy. [But his focus is on stroking her hair and comforting her, not talking about that library. Yuuto sighs again, but this time it’s on purpose; He’s hoping to encourage her, even if subconsciously, to breathe with him.] You’re not crazy for keeping quiet either. It’s hard to talk about scary things.
[ For a moment, she's silent and contemplative. It's always been difficult for her to talk about things that terrified her: after all, she's lived her life trying to hide the fact that she has fears to begin with; wanting to be a badass, someone that people could consider as strong.
But she knows that she's weak.
Incredibly so.
She hates that part of herself. It's only when she lets out a breath, shutting her eyes to focus a little more and calm herself down that she finally manages: ]
[He knows that she’s put a lot of thought into that answer. That’s who Himeko is: She’s someone who can think about something until she’s made herself sick. So he doesn’t want to deny the hardwork and effort that went into that conclusion.
He gentle tangles his fingers in her hair and adjusts his embrace.]
But we can… I love you, Himeko. That’s the only power that I need to want to protect you and make you happy. And you love me too, right?
[ It's true: she's had quite some time to stew on this. But usually, she tries not to think about it too much. If she does, she winds up hyperfixating on it and bringing herself into a depressive spiral.
Normally, she'd agree.
She wants to trust in his words, in the love that they have for each other. ]
Of course I do.
[ Why the hell is she hesitating now? It makes her blood boil and anger settle in her chest. ]
I love you so much. The same goes for me, you know. I want you to be happy, too. So even the whole thing about me can't be dealt with, at the very least, we can have these moments of happiness together.
And if there's anything I can do, too... I want to be able to.
[He doesn’t want to scold her. It’s hard to change old thought patterns, even if you have a lover trying to encourage you to.
Yuuto can’t fault her. He hasn’t explained much about his Distortion, because he doesn’t think that it can be fixed either. So when she suggests that they can make these days of being in love happy ones, he submits to the happier daydream. At least for now, they can focus on building their happiness together.]
I hear for you. [He pauses, hand resting on her head, debating if he should shift their positions back to how they were earlier.] Do you want to take a minute to relax? My heart is yours, if you…
[Nope. He’s embarrassed to offer and can’t finish his sentence.]
Th-That'll only happen if I'm on the bottom... [Which he still is.
Yuuto feels himself blushing already and tries to refocus the conversation:] Are you sure? Really? I'm going to worry no matter what you say, but still...
You're going to tease me if I get too flustered... [He sighs and lowers his hands, looking at her with a half-pouting expression,] I wouldn't mind if it was you who overwhelmed me though, so... Uuu... I can try...
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[Yuuto sighs. He knows that if he was anyone else, then he wouldn’t be able to understand this easily. But Yuuto knows about a library where all worlds and lives are collected as story books. The idea isn’t too far fetched for him to accept.
He moves a hand behind her head again, encouraging her to relax against him.]
That’s scary, huh? No wonder you were so quiet about it.
no subject
[ She leans against him, knowing that she can at least try and relax in his presence. ]
I've never actually spoken about this with anyone, before... honestly, I always thought that I'd have to pretend that it just wasn't a thing for the rest of my life, because it's crazy, right? The idea of just being a fucking puppet for someone else all the time.
no subject
… You want to change it, huh?
no subject
[ For a moment, she's silent and contemplative. It's always been difficult for her to talk about things that terrified her: after all, she's lived her life trying to hide the fact that she has fears to begin with; wanting to be a badass, someone that people could consider as strong.
But she knows that she's weak.
Incredibly so.
She hates that part of herself. It's only when she lets out a breath, shutting her eyes to focus a little more and calm herself down that she finally manages: ]
If I could, I would. But... I can't.
no subject
He gentle tangles his fingers in her hair and adjusts his embrace.]
But we can… I love you, Himeko. That’s the only power that I need to want to protect you and make you happy. And you love me too, right?
We’ll figure it out together.
no subject
Normally, she'd agree.
She wants to trust in his words, in the love that they have for each other. ]
Of course I do.
[ Why the hell is she hesitating now? It makes her blood boil and anger settle in her chest. ]
I love you so much. The same goes for me, you know. I want you to be happy, too. So even the whole thing about me can't be dealt with, at the very least, we can have these moments of happiness together.
And if there's anything I can do, too... I want to be able to.
no subject
[He doesn’t want to scold her. It’s hard to change old thought patterns, even if you have a lover trying to encourage you to.
Yuuto can’t fault her. He hasn’t explained much about his Distortion, because he doesn’t think that it can be fixed either. So when she suggests that they can make these days of being in love happy ones, he submits to the happier daydream. At least for now, they can focus on building their happiness together.]
I hear for you. [He pauses, hand resting on her head, debating if he should shift their positions back to how they were earlier.] Do you want to take a minute to relax? My heart is yours, if you…
[Nope. He’s embarrassed to offer and can’t finish his sentence.]
Should we distract each other? Or… talk more..?
no subject
[ Her brain fizzles out a little bit at the thought of him mentioning if a distraction is needed. ]
I mean, if you want to do it some more... but I don't mind just talking, either.
no subject
Have you maybe reached your limit~? I found your stopping point?
I want to do whatever helps you most. I’m worried about you. You Carrie’s that burden alone for a while, so… I’m worried your heart is tired?
no subject
[ She huffs out a breath, pouting just a bit. ]
Besides, it's fine for now...!
no subject
Yuuto feels himself blushing already and tries to refocus the conversation:] Are you sure? Really? I'm going to worry no matter what you say, but still...
no subject
[ Now her face is completely red at the thought that the rest of her words come off as flustered babbles. ]
I-It's really fine, I just don't need to think about it too much, that's all-!
no subject
[Yuuto has to move his faces to cover his burning face.]
But- Uhhhh Right! N-No need! So sorry. Don't mind me and my worrying then, uh- Wanna makeout?? [so smooth.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ She's going to call him out on it! But she'll shift a bit so he can properly get up. ]
If you're still being embarrassing though, I'll have no other choice but to tease you about it...
no subject
no subject
You don't sound convincing at all.
no subject
Don’t worry about it. [He reaches out to cup her chin, trying to regain some composure.]
Close your eyes?
[So she can’t see him blush!]
no subject
[ She lets out a sigh but nods and closes her eyes for him. ]
I'll trust you.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
I forgot the dumbest part of my own oc’s lore
wow.
Honestly he probably should’ve already made everything float but- smh
he held himself back through one sex session i can't believe it
Rolled a nat 20
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)