[ She freezes up and she finally lifts her head up to look at him, but there's something about how her expression seems almost dead that's telling. But in that moment, she doesn't actually see him.
"I'm disappointed in you, Inaba. I can't believe you would turn your back on your friends. I thought you were better than that."
Ah.
And the tears that tempted to start before, just barely at the edges of her eyes just go down full force down the sides of her face. It's only when it ends that she has to close her eyes and shake her head furiously. ]
I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't— I'm sorry. . .
[...He's been stared through like that before. Hell, he's pretty sure he's been on the other end of it more times than he can count, too.
...Damn it. He can't keep up this whole tough love thing. If she'll let him, he'll step forward, wrapping his arms around her and resting a hand atop her head to smooth her hair.]
I don't want you to be alone either, Raina. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm doing this...
[ To be honest, Raina feels like she could choke out sobs and apologies the rest of the day and the pain in her chest still wouldn't go away. She isn't moving from where she's standing, just trembling the whole way through as she just lets him do exactly what he has to.
What he wants to, really.
And if she can, she'll just bury her head onto his shoulder, still sobbing. ]
I'm stupid. I'm so, so stupid. I kept on lying to myself and... I'm really an idiot, Rean.
[ It's honestly so soothing and comforting, even though a part of her feels like she doesn't deserve this touch. Nevertheless, she finds herself leaning into it. ]
...
[ But she doesn't seem to say anything to argue about whether or not she can actually fix her mistakes, because she doesn't exactly have any sort of overwhelming confidence one way or another.
She finds herself sniffling a bit, trying to compose herself, but there's still a bit of a struggle in her voice. ]
I just- [ It's hard to get the words together, but she has to. ] I've had a lot of time. To think.
[ So much time that she winds up spiraling quite a bit in her thoughts. ]
You. . . remember what I said before? About my trust issues?
I'm not expecting it to just magically go away, you know. I know it must be difficult to work through...
[Ah? That admission catches him off guard, eyes widening a little as his hair-petting stops just for a moment. But it's quick to pick right back up where it left off, Rean's expression settling into the barest hint of a smile.]
Yeah. It's like, I want to trust people, but I'm so scared that if I bring myself too close to someone, they'll just end up hurting me in the end. And I thought that for the longest time, if I believed that was the same for our relationship. . . It'd be easier for me.
[ She tries to steady her breathing a little, lifting her head to wipe her tears. ]
Sorry, I didn't want you to see me cry like this. That was really selfish of me. But anyway, I know better now. If I really, truly, didn't trust you, I wouldn't have spoken to you about any of my memories as "Inaba Himeko". I would have simply kept it all to myself.
[ This is the first time that she's actually said the full name of her past life and it somehow feels right. Even if she knows it isn't her name anymore. ]
[...He makes a short sound, reminiscent of a laugh.]
Nothing is easy when it comes to people, Raina. Holding them at arm's length or keeping them close. But... whether or not you understand, that's a struggle I'm willing to go through for you. And... I'm really glad to hear it does go both ways.
...I mean. I knew, or at least, I wanted to believe that. But it never hurts to hear it.
[He shakes his head a little about her crying.]
Hey, now. I'm not going to judge you over a couple tears. What are loved ones for if not picking you back up when you're down?
[ Although now she is absolutely pouting about a multitude of things, including the mention of that first name. It's made even more awkward as her cheeks flush a little, rubbing at the nape of her neck. ]
... And yeah. It's a pretty embarrassing name, though.
[...Rean has a feeling he's entered a fight he's not going to win.]
All right, all right. I still don't understand why it's embarrassing, but whatever, it clearly bothers you...
[Girls are so weird.]
That's hardly the point, anyway. The point is I'm glad you trust me. ...Especially with something embarrassing, if you really think the name's that bad. [A joking little smile.] But I can keep it a secret, if you want, if you can keep your word.
[ She knows full well that it is her fault, so she isn't going to argue with him on that front. In fact, a lot of the things she's done recently are things she isn't necessarily proud of.
Not like she was proud of herself for a lot, anyway. ]
I know. I just didn't want to worry them if they found out that I was in a dangerous part of the city because it was cheaper...
[ She's never wanted to worry them. That's why she's done so much so that they didn't figure out her anxieties or problems. ]
I understand, and I know that's probably why you didn't want me to find out, either. That's why I'm not giving you too much grief.
I just want that set as an expectation for the future, since we both know this isn't where you'll be forever. I'd appreciate you telling me as well, but I'm not going to force it. I just want to know, if I need to find you, it's not going to be a wild goose chase again.
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[ She freezes up and she finally lifts her head up to look at him, but there's something about how her expression seems almost dead that's telling. But in that moment, she doesn't actually see him.
"I'm disappointed in you, Inaba. I can't believe you would turn your back on your friends. I thought you were better than that."
Ah.
And the tears that tempted to start before, just barely at the edges of her eyes just go down full force down the sides of her face. It's only when it ends that she has to close her eyes and shake her head furiously. ]
I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't— I'm sorry. . .
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...Damn it. He can't keep up this whole tough love thing. If she'll let him, he'll step forward, wrapping his arms around her and resting a hand atop her head to smooth her hair.]
I don't want you to be alone either, Raina. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm doing this...
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What he wants to, really.
And if she can, she'll just bury her head onto his shoulder, still sobbing. ]
I'm stupid. I'm so, so stupid. I kept on lying to myself and... I'm really an idiot, Rean.
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You're not stupid. You've made mistakes, and you can fix them. You're going to fix them.
[But, he's not here to just give platitudes. So:]
What have you been lying to yourself about?
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...
[ But she doesn't seem to say anything to argue about whether or not she can actually fix her mistakes, because she doesn't exactly have any sort of overwhelming confidence one way or another.
She finds herself sniffling a bit, trying to compose herself, but there's still a bit of a struggle in her voice. ]
I just- [ It's hard to get the words together, but she has to. ] I've had a lot of time. To think.
[ So much time that she winds up spiraling quite a bit in her thoughts. ]
You. . . remember what I said before? About my trust issues?
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I can imagine...
Yeah. Yeah, I do. What about them now?
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[...]
But I lied about one thing. I said I didn't trust you. That was wrong.
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[Ah? That admission catches him off guard, eyes widening a little as his hair-petting stops just for a moment. But it's quick to pick right back up where it left off, Rean's expression settling into the barest hint of a smile.]
...I'm glad to hear that, Raina. Truly.
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[ She tries to steady her breathing a little, lifting her head to wipe her tears. ]
Sorry, I didn't want you to see me cry like this. That was really selfish of me. But anyway, I know better now. If I really, truly, didn't trust you, I wouldn't have spoken to you about any of my memories as "Inaba Himeko". I would have simply kept it all to myself.
[ This is the first time that she's actually said the full name of her past life and it somehow feels right. Even if she knows it isn't her name anymore. ]
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Nothing is easy when it comes to people, Raina. Holding them at arm's length or keeping them close. But... whether or not you understand, that's a struggle I'm willing to go through for you. And... I'm really glad to hear it does go both ways.
...I mean. I knew, or at least, I wanted to believe that. But it never hurts to hear it.
[He shakes his head a little about her crying.]
Hey, now. I'm not going to judge you over a couple tears. What are loved ones for if not picking you back up when you're down?
[...Oh, hey.]
"Himeko," huh? That was her first name?
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[ Although now she is absolutely pouting about a multitude of things, including the mention of that first name. It's made even more awkward as her cheeks flush a little, rubbing at the nape of her neck. ]
... And yeah. It's a pretty embarrassing name, though.
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[ She groans a little bit, running a hand through her hair. She definitely looks like a mess now, regardless of whether she wasn't one before. ]
It's because of the meaning.
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Nothing wrong with being a princess. You go by "Queen" on the network already.
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[...Rean...]
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All right, all right. I still don't understand why it's embarrassing, but whatever, it clearly bothers you...
[Girls are so weird.]
That's hardly the point, anyway. The point is I'm glad you trust me. ...Especially with something embarrassing, if you really think the name's that bad. [A joking little smile.] But I can keep it a secret, if you want, if you can keep your word.
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[ She says this so dryly and in a rather over the top matter that it's clearly not something to be taken entirely seriously.
When she speaks up again, it's with a bit of a wistful smile, something softer, kinder. ]
But don't worry. I wasn't planning to. I said it, didn't I? I don't want to be alone. I've always hated it.
1/2
[His smile widens, playful and even a bit cocky. A taste of your own medicine, Raina!]
Good. Then, I think with that settled, I'm out of things to lecture you about for the time being.
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Oh, wait. No, actually. One last thing.
In the future, you're at least giving our parents a real address to find you at, okay? Even if it is in a sketchier part of town.
I'm not going to give you hell for living here. But not having anyone know where you are, if something were to happen... that's dangerous.
All right?
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Not like she was proud of herself for a lot, anyway. ]
I know. I just didn't want to worry them if they found out that I was in a dangerous part of the city because it was cheaper...
[ She's never wanted to worry them. That's why she's done so much so that they didn't figure out her anxieties or problems. ]
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I just want that set as an expectation for the future, since we both know this isn't where you'll be forever. I'd appreciate you telling me as well, but I'm not going to force it. I just want to know, if I need to find you, it's not going to be a wild goose chase again.
That fair to you?
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[ She's actually quiet about it for a good moment as she tries to collect herself, just slowly nodding her head. ]
Yeah.
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[He steps forward again to just rest his palm on her head gently for a moment, as if to finalize this.]
Are we good, now?
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