Inaba always hid her fears and insecurities behind a mask of confidence, but she wasn't brave at all. She never felt like she was, in spite of how many people having told her that she was actually brave.
She's always felt like a child: terrified and scared of the world. That was only amplified by her trust issues; how she couldn't trust herself, or anyone else.
But here, she wanted to try harder. But it's so hard— ]
Sorry. Sorry. . . I didn't ask you to come here to comfort me.
I know. But I want to comfort you, and I think I need some of that myself. Is it ok if I hold you?
[Maybe it'll be easier, if Inaba knows she's not the only one scared, if for once Atsushi asks and shares. Atsushi's definitely scared... There's a fraught sort of exhaustion heavy in his eyes, because he wasn't a brave person either. On the contrary.
He's probably going to wake up screaming into a pillow again tonight, because he's terrified for himself, for the people he cares about... for what will happen to them if Dazai's plan doesn't work.]
[He'd like that, too. He clutches her to him a little bit tighter, tucking his chin atop her head because she's the perfect height for it. He'll hold her as long as she needs it, until some of that desperation and unease fades for the both of them.]
[Saki often gave hugs, and he'd found they really were calming sometime when things got to be too much. They'd always felt grounding the morning after the full moon.
So it made sense to do this when they were both this stressed and overdrawn emotionally.]
[ She'd say that 'there really isn't anything for you to thank me for, Atsushi', but stops herself before even remotely even opening her mouth to say it. Now's not the time to feel so self-deprecating, and if she wants to move forward, she has to do this. ]
Anyway. Kind of a weird way to segue into this, but. . . I did want to talk to you about Dazai, since I didn't really get the chance to speak to you about him in private.
[ Or at least, the finer details that she didn't want to talk about in front of the cameras. ]
I'm just wondering if you found out anything recently, since there's a lot of things I've been thinking about.
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Inaba always hid her fears and insecurities behind a mask of confidence, but she wasn't brave at all. She never felt like she was, in spite of how many people having told her that she was actually brave.
She's always felt like a child: terrified and scared of the world. That was only amplified by her trust issues; how she couldn't trust herself, or anyone else.
But here, she wanted to try harder. But it's so hard— ]
Sorry. Sorry. . . I didn't ask you to come here to comfort me.
[ Even if it's so nice. ]
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[Maybe it'll be easier, if Inaba knows she's not the only one scared, if for once Atsushi asks and shares. Atsushi's definitely scared... There's a fraught sort of exhaustion heavy in his eyes, because he wasn't a brave person either. On the contrary.
He's probably going to wake up screaming into a pillow again tonight, because he's terrified for himself, for the people he cares about... for what will happen to them if Dazai's plan doesn't work.]
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[ If there's desperation in her voice, it's probably a part of your imagination.
She doesn't want to suffer like this alone anymore. And if she can latch onto someone—
She'd like that. ]
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It hasn't even been that long since she's been held like this, but she can't help but relax nevertheless. ]
. . . Thanks.
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So it made sense to do this when they were both this stressed and overdrawn emotionally.]
Thank you, too.
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Anyway. Kind of a weird way to segue into this, but. . . I did want to talk to you about Dazai, since I didn't really get the chance to speak to you about him in private.
[ Or at least, the finer details that she didn't want to talk about in front of the cameras. ]
I'm just wondering if you found out anything recently, since there's a lot of things I've been thinking about.
[ A lot of things. ]