scp r4 ♥ saki catch-all

[dereban]

Comments

[allmyfriendsaredead]

...? Okay.

[At this point needing to hog the bathroom for privacy is hardly surprising, so she'll follow readily enough.]

[dereban]

[ Once they were there, however: ]

I actually told Atsushi this the other day, but I wanted to let you know as well in case you haven't noticed-- as far as we're aware the room Dazai's in is the other blind spot from the cameras. So I earnestly think that he's more likely to be more honest there.

And he's definitely been showing more vulnerabilities. . .

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[Oh.

This is very good information.]

...I see. I'll have to push him even more.

[Because she's been restricting her words, naturally. One does what they must to survive and all.]

Are you planning to tell everyone else as well?

[dereban]

That's why he's definitely telling the truth--

[ She shakes her head. ] No. At least... not right now, anyway. But in any case, I'm worried. Dazai keeps giving me this look--

Like he starts to say something but then he just. He stops himself? And it's weird because it's not even about some remotely serious topic. And he even pushed me out on Saturday, too.

I saw a flash of worry, but. . .

[ She doesn't know what it means. ]

1/2

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[That gets a look of concern as Saki raises a hand to her mouth in thought.]

2/2

[allmyfriendsaredead]

No... he did the same thing to me, too. Sunday morning, when I brought him breakfast.

[And it was terrifying, even if she doesn't want to admit it right away.]

[dereban]

What. . . happened?

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[Mmmmmm...]

As usual, he was talking about how he was such a bad person, and how he wanted to be despicable... "hated by righteousness" or something like that. But then he said that it's a role he was born to fill, and the world needs people like that.

[Her gaze hardens.]

I told him there's already plenty of bad people. [She tries to remember her exact words now, because it might be important.]

..."Why do you have to fill that role? What's stopping you from being a better person? Did somebody say you can't? There's already enough bad people in this world, so if it's so easy for you either way, why don't you put yourself on the side that needs more help right now?"

...I don't think that was it exactly, but something like that. I... got caught up in the moment.

[dereban]

. . . Oh.

[ She-


She gets it now. ]

I wonder if he knows about that. [ ... ] But, mm. You're right about that.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

He knows about what?

[It's enough to distract her from the rest.]

[dereban]

A conversation that happens. . . probably in his future?

[allmyfriendsaredead]

What conversation?

[dereban]

It's a conversation that gets him to join the ADA. He basically decides to become 'good'.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

So you think he might already know that he becomes good in the future?

[dereban]

[ she gestures ]

He was told about Atsushi. So probably.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

...

Then isn't it even more pointless for him to insist he has to be a bad person?!

[dereban]

He's probably convinced himself of it to avoid hurting himself. . . probably.

1/2

[allmyfriendsaredead]

He definitely knows he's doing wrong.

[Ugh!]

After I said that, he looked guilty. I could tell.

2/2

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[...Except, it wasn't just that, was it?]

...Guilty and conflicted.

[dereban]

. . . Hah. He's such a pain in the ass. I'd say 'if only he could be more honest with himself' but that'd be calling myself a hypocrite.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

It would make things so much simpler if he could be.

[There's a small huff to her voice, but she's lost much of the energy from before.]

Why does he feel like he has to do this? Is it just because of the Foundation's rules, or something else?

[dereban]

Too bad things are never that simple.

And I don't know. . . it could be either.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[She makes another frustrated sound, rubbing at her head again.]

Well, I'll keep talking to him, I suppose. He threw me out after that, but if he was well enough to come check on our meeting, I'm sure he can handle another chat.

[dereban]

Yeah, I need to talk to him.

Because... I think he showed up to be a distraction, so I kind of should thank him.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

A distraction?

[Or, wait-]

Because of the SCP you were talking about?