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[dereban]

Inaban

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[dereban]

You can't say that when we're laying down like this. I'll end up wanting something ridiculous.

[spacialeyes]

[He lowers his voice to a curious whisper,] Such as..?

[dereban]

It's embarrassing to say it.

[spacialeyes]

Whisper it..? I don’t think anyone else will hear it.

[dereban]

You're the one I'd be embarrassed saying it to!

[spacialeyes]

Eh? Am I intimidating somehow? [Yuuto still has an arm around her as he tries to meet her gaze,] I won’t judge you. You were nice to me about the chocolates.

[dereban]

That doesn't make it any better...!

[spacialeyes]

[Yuuto hums thoughtfully, then breaks eye contact so that he can offer a more affectionate embrace instead.]

Well- You don’t need to say it if you don’t want to. If there are secrets you need to keep, that’s fine. I trust you.

[dereban]

It's not really a secret... it's just- I don't want you thinking that my selfish desires are just because... mmm.

[spacialeyes]

”Mmmm?”

[He isn’t following. Not entirely. Yuuto pauses to think, then replies quietly.]

I want to be a partner who makes you happy. If it’s selfish, then good? I want for you to be selfish with me.

[dereban]

Fine, I'll say it. But you better not regret it. I-- I wouldn't mind having sex with you.

[spacialeyes]

[Yuuto is certain that he doesn’t regret hearing that. He does find himself blushing and his embrace becoming a smidge more tight- More of a cling until he relaxes.]

… Me too. B-But. We just started dating and u-um. [His belt tail is just going to find her leg now and broadcast what he’s thinking.] … at midnight, it’ll be Valentines, right?

[dereban]

...what, did you want to wait until then?

[spacialeyes]

W-Well… Would it be romantic that way? A-and, um… I should probably… before you really decide to date me.

[He hesitates. Maybe he should have talked about this a long time ago. He’s been so caught up in the thrill of mutual love that he forgot about his self loathing.]

… my body isn’t perfect anymore. Or um… my soul, so-. [He doesn’t want to hurt her.]

[dereban]

Yeah. It would be. But... I don't care about imperfections. Nobody's perfect. Hell, my soul used to be rotten, but it seems to have gone back to normal, I think. Not that I can see it.

[spacialeyes]

[”Rotten.” The word makes him flinch, because it sounds like a way to describe his. But then, in the next second, Yuuto manages a breakthrough.


He wouldn’t hate Inaba for that. He would still love her. Nen and Shigeru accept him, so why can’t Inaba? He trusts her.

It’s himself that he fears.

So he sighs shakily and pulls back from the embrace, pushing himself into a sitting position.]

Mine still is. [He loops his finger around the pink ribbon that closes his shirt.] I broke it.

[dereban]

... then we'll find a way to fix it, together.

[spacialeyes]

[Yuuto is sincerely caught off guard by the simplicity of her answer. He pauses, then starts rolling up his sleeves to show the burns and scars along his arms. He doesn’t immediately know what to say about his soul, so reveals his physical mistakes first.]

… Is there any reason to? If it broke, then it’s because I’m weak?

[dereban]

[ She shakes her head. ]

I'm weak, too. Incredibly so.

[ Inaba knows that all too well. ]

But... well. You see, back home, there's an art from called kintsugi. It's when someone takes the broken shards of pottery and puts them back together with gold. It's meant to embrace imperfections and flaws to make something stronger. People are like that, too. They're flawed and imperfect. When they break, they can come back from it- [ She reaches out to him, wanting to place her palm in the center of his chest. ] And if someone like me could, I think you can, too.

[spacialeyes]

[He’s silent as he feels her hand on his chest. His instinct is that he should show her his imperfections and scare her to safety- That’s why he was showing his arms,- but he’s not sure how to show his soul. So it’s twistedly convenient that her words trigger tears. Yuuto is shaken out of his stun when he feels a black, gooey tear roll down his cheek and has to catch it before it can drip on the bedsheets.]

Ah- Sorry, I- I’m going to get my soul on your nice bedsheets. I- I shouldn’t… [His voice trails off.] … Are you really sure you don’t mind?

[dereban]

[ And that's when she wraps her arms around him, pulling him close to her. ]

It's fine. I really don't mind. Promise.

[spacialeyes]

[He’s still not used to being accepted. Loneliness is all he knows. It’s shaped his very soul into a greedy blackhole. Knowing that imagery, he wonders if he should be repulsed by how easily he leans into her embrace. He doesn’t want to push her away, even if that would be better for her.]

Himeko… S-Sorry. Somehow I’m making asking to have sex really sad. [And saying the phrase aloud makes him feel silly enough to derail his own despair and return her embrace.] I just thought… you should know.

[dereban]

It's fine. You were honest with me, and... that's important, when it comes to this. You'll just have to make up for it by making the mood better.

[spacialeyes]

I can try. [Yuuto closes his eyes,] Though right now... I just want to hold you like this. It's warm.

[dereban]

That's fine. I don't mind in the slightest bit.