[He might have trouble remembering at first, since he's so used to calling her Inaba, but he'll try. If she's giving him permission, then it must be something she's thought long and hard on.]
[Okay, Atsushi is going to take Inaba's hand with one of his own. Then he's going to hold his free hand up and try to turn his fingertips into claws, as he often does when he's fighting. But nope, it's still human, so long as Inaba has the nullification on.
So he looks up at her finally, with a look of absolute befuddlement on his face.]
[Though what is important now, at least in Atsushi's mind, is a bit difficult to bring up. And as his mind wanders in that direction, his cheeks start to turn pink.]
S-so, um...we can touch each other now too, right?
[ Even if it might be difficult for him it's. . . actually, no. It's hard for Inaba to bring up, too. Because in spite of how she acts very much like a prude at times to the point where she can tease easily, when it comes to acting on it she's just a little bit hesitant and nervous.
Which is probably why her cheeks color like a beet red tomato, freshly picked from the garden. ]
I mean, yeah. . .? I've been thinking about using it for that ever since I got it.
[Atsushi jumps a little when Inaba grabs his shoulders, and her desperation makes him swallow down a bit of nervousness. But soon he's nodding, and instead of responding verbally he leans in to capture her lips in a kiss.
It's not technically anything special, all things considered. They have kissed many times before, it's nothing new. But after a moment or two of being tense, Atsushi finally relaxes into their kiss. He's always tense, that's what being an anxious ex-assassin gets you. But he's always been tenser during their personal moments, and it's only now when they kiss and he feels nothing from Byakko that he can finally relax and let himself actually enjoy kissing Inaba.
[ The familiarity of the kiss is what makes her shoulders easily relax, any of the worries that she could possibly have in the moment soon washes away. But she notices that slight difference in the way that he kisses and it's enough for Inaba to start ushering him further into the room, towards the bed.
As much as she enjoys this kiss, having his lips on hers, she craves more than that.
[The bed is good. It's soft and safe and they can lay down and learn all the other ways to kiss each other's bodies.
Atsushi goes with Inaba's ushering, but when he goes to sit on the bed he tries to pull her down with him, urging her into his lap. She should go sit with him, he wants to touch her as much as possible right now.]
[ Well, she doesn't care about being pulled down onto his lap. In fact, she does wind up breaking the kiss when she does it, just leaning to press her forehead against his own, her cheeks still flush. ]
I really missed you, Atsushi. . .
[ Her voice is needy, yearning and her voice breathy. ]
I missed you too. It was scary, watching you in that house. Knowing that you could die at any moment. I haven't felt that helpless since the hotel.
And I...I don't want to leave anything left unsaid, nothing left undone.
[Because they could die at any moment in this world, and even if death isn't quite so permanent he still doesn't want to bank on people getting revived. ]
[ She laughs a little bit bitterly that it's almost like someone who's used to having their coffee with sugar in it was suddenly drinking it black; a mistake in a Starbucks order.
Her hands move to grab his own wrists as if that would somehow stabilize her.
But it doesn't, not entirely. Her gaze drops a bit because guilt eats at the pit of her stomach at his words. ]
I didn't help much in alleviating your fears since I kept on volunteering when I had the chance to. . . Even when I was very much aware that I could have died. But I always thought that it would have been better if it was me, not them. If I could protect the others. . .
I'm an idiot, though. I knew that it would hurt you if I did that.
[ Her grip tighens ever so slightly; she doesn't want to let him go. She wants to stay with him. Even if they can come back to life, that doesn't change the simple fact that death is scary. That being alive is honestly a good thing. ]
But in that case. . . whatever you need to say, I want to hear it. And whatever you want to do, I want you to be able to do it. Life is just too goddamn short to have regrets.
You're right. It was terrifying to watch. Every time you volunteered yourself, it felt like my heart was being squeezed. If you had actually died, I...I don't...
[He closes his eyes, and he squeezes her hand back.]
But it kept others from being in that position, didn't it? By volunteering, you protected others. Even if it was hard to watch, I'm glad you did it. Because you helped the others, you spared them from death and trauma. ...well, more trauma, I guess.
I was fearful, but you know what? I'm proud of you too.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
So what did you want to talk about this time?
no subject
She pulls away from him a bit to wipe at her tears with her sleeves before awkwardly rubbing at the nape of her neck. ]
There's a few things.
I guess. The first one being that if you wanted to, and only because it's you-- I wanted to give you permission to use my first name.
[ Let's just start with that. That's actually the reason she's embarrassed, too, since her first name is something that decidedly flusters her. ]
no subject
[He might have trouble remembering at first, since he's so used to calling her Inaba, but he'll try. If she's giving him permission, then it must be something she's thought long and hard on.]
What else?
no subject
[ She swallows hard, a little nervous.
But even though they're still close, she brings her hands to touch his own. ]
. . . if you kissed me now, I don't think I would be able to stop.
no subject
[That. That is actually pretty hot but he has to tell himself not to take it the wrong way.]
W-we would have to stop eventually, you know.
[He didn't get what she was implying, sorry.]
no subject
What I'm trying to say is that I can have sex with you now without you having to worry, stupid.
no subject
[He sounds even more confused, and now his cheeks are pink.]
But I- I know it's the new moon right now, but even now we still have to worry about the tiger!
no subject
[ She places her hands on his shoulders, not looking at him directly now because she really, really needs to just be blunt about it. ]
I have nullification now. It's fine.
no subject
[Okay, Atsushi is going to take Inaba's hand with one of his own. Then he's going to hold his free hand up and try to turn his fingertips into claws, as he often does when he's fighting. But nope, it's still human, so long as Inaba has the nullification on.
So he looks up at her finally, with a look of absolute befuddlement on his face.]
When did you get that?
no subject
. . . well.
Long story short, a fortune cookie happened. During the weeks I was gone.
no subject
[The gears are starting to turn in his head, and he's starting to get what she means.]
All the time?
no subject
Um, I could have it on all the time, but I don't need to.
no subject
[Both in power use and in personality.]
no subject
[ She will take the compliment. ]
Anyway, that honestly isn't all that important, right?
no subject
[Though what is important now, at least in Atsushi's mind, is a bit difficult to bring up. And as his mind wanders in that direction, his cheeks start to turn pink.]
S-so, um...we can touch each other now too, right?
no subject
Which is probably why her cheeks color like a beet red tomato, freshly picked from the garden. ]
I mean, yeah. . .? I've been thinking about using it for that ever since I got it.
no subject
[Wait. No. He needs to explain it better.]
I-I mean, not the other stuff if you don't want to, but kissing...? I, um, I want to see if it really does work.
[If kissing led to more he honestly wouldn't complain, but he's also not going to push the issue either. He's too much of a bottom, sorry Inaba.]
no subject
[ Her words are immediate as her hands move to grip onto his shoulders, desperation dripping from every syllable. ]
Don't make me wait any longer, Atsushi.
no subject
It's not technically anything special, all things considered. They have kissed many times before, it's nothing new. But after a moment or two of being tense, Atsushi finally relaxes into their kiss. He's always tense, that's what being an anxious ex-assassin gets you. But he's always been tenser during their personal moments, and it's only now when they kiss and he feels nothing from Byakko that he can finally relax and let himself actually enjoy kissing Inaba.
The difference is like night and day, really.]
no subject
As much as she enjoys this kiss, having his lips on hers, she craves more than that.
She wants him. ]
no subject
Atsushi goes with Inaba's ushering, but when he goes to sit on the bed he tries to pull her down with him, urging her into his lap. She should go sit with him, he wants to touch her as much as possible right now.]
no subject
I really missed you, Atsushi. . .
[ Her voice is needy, yearning and her voice breathy. ]
Is this. . . okay?
no subject
And I...I don't want to leave anything left unsaid, nothing left undone.
[Because they could die at any moment in this world, and even if death isn't quite so permanent he still doesn't want to bank on people getting revived. ]
no subject
Her hands move to grab his own wrists as if that would somehow stabilize her.
But it doesn't, not entirely. Her gaze drops a bit because guilt eats at the pit of her stomach at his words. ]
I didn't help much in alleviating your fears since I kept on volunteering when I had the chance to. . . Even when I was very much aware that I could have died. But I always thought that it would have been better if it was me, not them. If I could protect the others. . .
I'm an idiot, though. I knew that it would hurt you if I did that.
[ Her grip tighens ever so slightly; she doesn't want to let him go. She wants to stay with him. Even if they can come back to life, that doesn't change the simple fact that death is scary. That being alive is honestly a good thing. ]
But in that case. . . whatever you need to say, I want to hear it. And whatever you want to do, I want you to be able to do it. Life is just too goddamn short to have regrets.
no subject
[He closes his eyes, and he squeezes her hand back.]
But it kept others from being in that position, didn't it? By volunteering, you protected others. Even if it was hard to watch, I'm glad you did it. Because you helped the others, you spared them from death and trauma. ...well, more trauma, I guess.
I was fearful, but you know what? I'm proud of you too.
cw suicidal ideation
(no subject)
(no subject)