scp r4 ♥ saki catch-all

[dereban]

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[dereban]

[ She's in the rec room with her cellphone on her hands and she just seems to be staring at it rather blankly, even as she hears Saki's voice. ]

. . . Hey.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

Inaba...

[She'll go over, crouching down to be at the same level.]

How are you? After all of that.

[dereban]

I'm okay.

[ She's not, but she can pretend. ]

You?

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[...

Can she give Inaba a hug?]

[dereban]

[ She isn't stopping Saki at all, so the hug is received but it isn't reciprocated immediately, her dark gaze widening. ]

. . .Saki?

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[It's a little tight, but she still has enough self-awareness not to make it uncomfortable.]

You've been hard at work too, haven't you?

[dereban]

That's not true. I haven't done anything. . .

[allmyfriendsaredead]

You have.

[Her voice is firm, even if she doesn't elaborate too deeply.]

You're part of the reason we didn't have any dead, or badly injured.

[Karen.]

[dereban]

. . .I guess.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[She doesn't let go.]

...You don't believe me, do you?

[dereban]

I never said that.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

Just saying things doesn't make it true.

[And not saying things doesn't mean that isn't true.]

[dereban]

I know. But the opposite is true, too.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[She gives a soft sigh.]

I've known too many people who lie. They always tried to make things sound sweeter than it really is.

[Her whole society was like that. A beautiful farce of peace.]

I can't make you say anything you don't want to. But it's normal to be stressed out in a situation like this, too.

[dereban]

. . .

[ She doesn't answer, just looking completely quiet at it all. ]

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[She gives Inaba one last squeeze before finally letting go.]

Do you... remember how I told you about how average I am? In my world, that is.

[dereban]

Of course I do. Why would I ever forget?

[allmyfriendsaredead]

There has been a lot going on lately...

But to the point. One of the most dangerous times in my life, I wasn't able to use my cantus at all. I was totally powerless.

[dereban]

It's been a long week.

[...] And?

[allmyfriendsaredead]

...

During that time, my friend still had his power. We both had to rely on him to protect us. It was... really frustrating, though. Using too much cantus can tire out your mind, and he had to do all of it by himself.

It didn't help that we had found ourselves in the middle of a queerat war. Queerats are a species related to the naked mole rats of this time, but they've gained the ability to walk on two feet and even speak. Because of our power, they worship us as gods, but since only one of us actually had power, we had to put on an act.

They wanted us to do as they asked so they could win the war. But if we messed up, we were sure they would kill us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... I've been in a similar place before.

[dereban]

To be honest, I'm kind of envious of people who can use their abilities -- who like having their supernatural abilities.

But. . . yeah, I get it.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

I think that might actually give you a better perspective than some of us, though.

[She tilts her head down thoughtfully.]

To be honest, I spent most of my time monitoring how Satoru was doing; I could tell when he was getting tired. But I could also be a second pair of eyes to help him direct his power when we were ambushed.

Basically... even though we know our powers, there's things we might miss because we're so focused on ourselves. Having someone who can see the bigger picture could be really helpful.

Does that make sense?

[dereban]

"Better", huh. Even if I hate abilities like those?

[ Which is ironic given the kind of people she likes.

And is dating. ]

But you're right that I have an outside perspective. And people sometimes become overreliant on it. And with Dazai, using powers just isn't going to work.

[allmyfriendsaredead]

[Her eyes go tight at the first part, but she keeps her calm.]

Even if it's something you hate. And you're right- I know I'm used to relying on cantus for everything, even when I don't need to.

[dereban]

. . . It seems like there's a good amount of other people reliant on their powers because they're used to it. But with Dazai around--

[ Using powers on him is kind of pointless. ]