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[dereban]

Raina Schwarzer

"Sorry if I can't pick up right now, but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks."

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[motiv8]

If we're in the business of being honest, here, then yes!

What else am I supposed to do? Let you keep wallowing in how awful you think you are until you push me away, too?

Neither of us want that, Raina.

Besides, it may be a lecture, but it's true. I don't get to decide whether or not I deserve my friends. You don't get to decide that for anyone else, either.

[dereban]

Geez. Why are all of you guys like this?

[motiv8]

Because you're being an idiot. Which I realize is rich coming from ME, but if that's not a wake up call for you I don't know what will be.

What do you mean, "all of you guys," though?

[dereban]

You're not the first - and more than likely - not the last to lecture me. Not just about this subject.

[motiv8]

Hm. It's almost like what we're saying has some merit...

[dereban]

Siri, How do I delete this conversation?

[motiv8]

You can't. To use your own words against you: I have receipts.

Listen. I told you at the beginning of this, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. But the options you're leaving me with otherwise aren't ones I'm willing to accept.

[dereban]

That's true. I did ask for this, in a way. Thanks, I hate it.

So are you done?

[motiv8]

That depends.

Are you willing to accept any of what I just said, as more than a token agreement to get me off your back?

Am I allowed to be friends with both you and other people without having to worry in the pit of my stomach that you hate them? That you hate me?

[dereban]

[ Another lengthy pause, for about more than a minute or two before she answers with a simple word: ] Yes.

[motiv8]

I would like you to actually spell it out, if that's all right.

Sorry for being pedantic, but after everything that happened last month, and not just in the hospital, I don't want to leave anything to assumptions.

Of course, I'm open to it if you want anything similar from me, as well.

[dereban]

Okay, I'll be more specific, then. I was always fine with you having other friends. I don't hate them, or you. I was happy when you told me that you had other friends, but I was also kind of sad, too.

[motiv8]

Because you feel like you can't have your own?

[dereban]

Yeah.

I don't trust people, after all.

[motiv8]

Maybe you don't need to. Without Retrospec in our way, we got along just fine all those years without you trusting me, after all, and you've said yourself I'm your friend.

I don't know. I'm not an expert in this myself, I don't understand why anyone's sticking around at all after what happened, much less apologizing to me. But here we are.




I don't really know what I'm trying to say at this point

Just. If you promise to try to reach out on your own, I forgive you for everything that happened down there.

I still believe in you, I still care about you, and you don't have to understand why.

[dereban]

I don't know if I can uphold that promise...

Honestly it's kind of scary to reach out.

[motiv8]

It is. But that makes success all the sweeter, doesn't it?

[dereban]

Guess so.

Anyway, now are we done?

[motiv8]

Guess so.

[dereban]

[ Well, she's not going to reply because it seems like their conversation is over, but suddenly (I'm so sorry, Rean) he'll hear a very familiar voice in his head. Spoilers: it's Raina's. [Oh thank god we didn't talk about the other thing, since I just remembered that my past life had a boyfriend...] Well then. ]

[motiv8]

[Rean needs a minute, because what? What?

There's a whole lot to unpack, there, but he'll just send this:]

Soooo. On another topic entirely.

Any reason why I just heard your voice in my head talking about your past life having a boyfriend? Because that sure just happened.

[dereban]

[ SCREAMING INTERNALLY ] Forget you heard anything.

[motiv8]

Oh, no. You don't get out of this so easily.

Tell me everything.

[dereban]

[ WHY............. ] Look, I don't really know much but. It might have to do with the fact that I remembered last night that my past self started dating someone. She confessed mentally (which she had no control over) a lot of embarrassing things and then he asked her out. That's it.

[motiv8]

Is this the same guy you were talking about on the Retrospec post?

[Rean, why are you so concerned. There's a very real chance he doesn't even exist in this world.]